Prue Blake

Some friends are like a carton of milk; they have an expiration date. So for those in our life only for a fleeting season, turn towards comedian Prue Blake’s guide on the six best places in Melbourne to hit ctrl-alt-delete on a friendship. The one where you break-up over coffee When it comes to breaking up ‘traditionally’, you can’t go wrong with a quick coffee, and luckily, Melbourne is packed to the rafters with some of the best cafés in the world. Wait until your friend offers to pay and says, “you can get the next one.” Hit them with a “how about I pay, and then we don’t have to meet again for another" and strut out of that café with a renewed sense of lightness like Nicole Kidman after her divorce from Tom Cruise. The one where you go for a walk in the rain For the friend about as unreliable as the Melbourne forecast, why not wait for a miserably torrential day and go for a stroll with them along the St Kilda foreshore? Walk in the rain and suggest you seek immediate shelter before hitting them with a “we’ll cover more ground if we split up.” Take that as your cue to run for cover and never see them again. The one where you head to the NGV  Do you have a friend who seems to be more interested in Instagramming than talking whenever you meet up? For those wannabe influencers, suggest going to the NGV (they’ll want the content). Head to the Alexander McQueen exhibition and let them snap away before asking if they want to hear a joke. They will no doubt say yes and use this