Carly Ann Filbin

Grande-ingIn 2019, we’re leaving bitterness behind and focusing on the positive aspects of past relationships. Inspired by Ariana Grande’s positive breakup anthem “Thank U, Next,” Grande-ing saves us from swimming in a pool of our own tears. Instead of months of shit talk, try moving on gracefully after a parting of the ways, having learned a lesson or two and now ready to binge the new Black Mirror solo. My horny blond friend Christi Chiello tells me she’s gone all in on this: “Grande-ing is all about celebrating my terrible choices! I’m not mad that I dated a beatboxer, and I am thankful he taught me that I’m worth more than the only two things he ever gave me: an Olive Garden bread basket and a pregnancy scare. To him I say, ‘Psh psh ckkkk psh oooowaahhh wikkey wikkey brrrrat. Thank you, next!’ ” Beware the femin-ishIn our newly #woke era, keep your eyes peeled for the kind of man who supports feminists… until he’s dating one. You may be accidentally swapping spit with what I like to call a “femin-ish.” You might be dating this type of guy if (1) he took a selfie at the Women’s March and added off-topic, but trending, hashtags or (2) he says he loves female comics but acts embarrassed whenever you make a joke in public. Writer Maicy Jo Schwartz is no stranger to dating the femin-ish. “I worked a lot of TV production jobs with my ex. He always told me how badass it was to see female-led production crews. Then, I eventually had the power to hire crew members, and he complain