Tooth Fairy

According to this new Disney comedy, the daily grind of a tooth fairy is weirdly similar to that of Father Christmas, as seen in 1994’s ‘The Santa Clause’. It involves lots of lying to your family, a bit of self-discovery and a lot of pratfalling and wailing like a loon. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson treads water as Derek, an ageing hockey star slumming in the lower leagues after an injury whose trick is to come on at the end of the game and smash his opponents’ teeth in, hence the nickname Tooth Fairy. Living as a bachelor but making solid ground with a divorcee played by Ashley Judd, Derek is charged with two weeks actual tooth-fairy duty after he selfishly reveals to his girlfriend’s daughter how the money really ends up under the pillow. Apart from being poorly constructed and only mildly amusing, the film suggests that a child would rather believe that the whole tooth-fairy operation is run from a ruthless mercantile trading floor in the sky than merely be consoled by the possibility that it all just happens. Everything about the film feels like the product of a calculating mind, right down to the bit where Judd’s teenage son makes the bizarre proclamation that it’s his dream to scale the epic rock-star heights of Eric Clapton, or failing that, Stevie Ray Vaughan. The one element that lifts this above utter tedium is the presence of Stephen Merchant as tooth-fairy administrator Tracy. That he manages to come away with his dignity intact is testament to his skill as a comedian.