The Adventures of Ford Fairlane

A poorly streamlined vehicle for America's prime exponent of the Comedy of Hate, Andrew Dice Clay, this expensively empty action comedy is as much fun as a car crash. Shortly after Heavy Metal superstar Bobby Black (Vince Neil of Mötley Crüe) gets fried alive on stage, 'rock'n'roll detective' Ford Fairlane (Clay) is hired by rich bitch Colleen (Presley) to find bubble-headed groupie Zuzu Petals (Corman). When 'shock jock' Johnny Crunch (Gottfried) also gets his plug pulled, Ford starts looking for someone with lots of juice. That's it on the plot level, so the rest is padded out with Ford playing rock'n'roll (badly), driving flash cars, cracking wise, talking dirty to women, or standing around like a spare dick at a wedding while Die Hard 2 director Harlin smashes up cars, blows up buildings, and mistimes every comic scene. Worse still is the Diceman's cynical attempt to soften his bad boy image; he still comes over as a racist, homophobic, sexist asshole who mistakes sentimentality for true feeling.