No Problem

The quizmaster from ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, Anil Kapoor, produces and 'acts' in Bollywood’s latest assault on our sensibilities. Set largely in the NRI (‘Non Resident Indian’) world of South Africa, it follows ‘supercop’ Arjun Singh’s (Kapoor) inept attempts to arrest superbad diamond thief Marco (Suniel Shetty) and his gang of stock bolly-baddies. It’s an embarrassing excuse for a madcap comic caper. Our B-list, middle-aged heroes clearly fancied a Durban holiday; they equate shrieking to emoting. There are: subplots involving two petty crooks, a murderous jealous wife and three gorillas; bizarre set-pieces shot Matrix-style which are supposed to constitute plot development; and a paternity ‘joke’ about a black kid and repetitive cake-in-the-face mishaps that a are used to evoke laughter. This would be no problem if this mindless massala movie was even mildly funny.