If I Want To Whistle, I Whistle

If the would-be satirists behind such drivel as ‘Disaster Movie’ and ‘Epic Movie’ ever take it upon themselves to make ‘Romanian Movie’, they could do worse than a shot-for-shot remake of Florin Serban’s debut, which combines all the trademark long takes, raw-knuckle desperation and desolate decor of this recently fashionable national cinema, with little of the required narrative conviction. Boyband-handsome teen miscreant Silviu (bullish newcomer George Pistereanu, pictured) is days away from leaving a grim prison – but that may not be soon enough to save his beloved kid brother from being swept off to Italy by his deadbeat mum (Clara Voda). Naturally, his response is to extend his sentence by whacking a guard over the head with a chair and taking a pretty social worker (Ada Condeescu) hostage, as the film’s final third tips oddly from earnest social realism into scarcely credible melodrama. If ‘The Death of Mr Lazarescu’ and ‘4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days’ represented the breakers of the so-called Romanian New Wave, this thinly competent entry is the backwash.