Vin Diesel was originally slated to play the emotionless hitman in Xavier Gen’s pyrotechnic videogame adaptation but, for reasons unknown, was replaced by Timothy ‘Die Hard 4.0’ Olyphant. Not that it makes much difference; both are as bald as coots, sport thick necks and say little, although it must be said that Olyphant has a better pair of lips. But I digress…
‘Hitman’ is based on Eidos’ popular third-person shooter series. It’s a fast, bloody, violent foray into the same lunkhead territory as previously occupied by Diesel’s ‘xXx’ duo and, more recently, ‘Shoot ’Em Up’. Olyphant is Agent 47, a genetically manufactured assassin who gets embroiled in some far-fetched conspiracy involving a dodgy Russian politician. There’s a cool opening credits sequence, but beyond that ‘Hitman’ doesn’t make much sense, is encumbered by clunky dialogue, some amateurish performances and clichéd set-pieces we’ve seen umpteen times before (including the old fail-safe six-gun stand-off). The lack of character development isn’t surprising either, since most of the cast is dispatched in a mire of bullets and blood. That’s the gist. Do you still want to see it?