Quiet bars in London where you can actually hear yourself think

This Mayfair haunt is the ultimate hotel bar, stately-home luxurious and warmly welcoming. The drinks cost a fortune, but they’re so strong you can’t have more than one without slipping into a coma. And the bottomless bowls of nibbles are a meal in themselves. 

A gorgeous spot for cosseted drinking, with chic details including shell-shaped lamps, cabinets filled with bright bottles, a stylish screen that sections off half the room for private parties and a small bar with seats for just two.

This is the landing pad of choice for drinkers of every age seeking a great, well priced cocktail in a low-noise space in the heart of the West End. And how often do you see those words in the same sentence? Go on, think about it.  

This cosy cocktail den is dinghy-sized, which means two things. One: you need to book. Two: you’ll be able to talk without shouting, even when the pianist is in full flow. 

The ground-floor whisky bar is as quiet as bars get: it seats around ten. For cocktails, go through the false bookcase to the basement; it’s pretty quiet there, too, if not pin-drop material. 

This undeniably cool yet unpretentious hangout along the Crouch End Broadway is ideal when you’re in need of a fancy drink fix but could do without the frenetic pace of central and east London.

Wackily over-decorated and deeply comfortable, the Parlour at the Zetter hotel is the most distinctive bar in Clerkenwell, and perfect for a quiet rendezvous or catch-up with friends. Drinks are reasonably priced for this level of quality, comfort – and quiet. 

Bruno’s is that rare thing – a hidden London bar that at no point makes you feel like you’re an unwilling participant in an immersive theatre production. A barge it might be, but Bruno’s isn’t your mate’s Hackney Wick houseboat – this is a classy, and mercifully mild-mannered cocktail den. 

Wood-panelled and dressed to the nines, The Bloomsbury Club oozes plush appeal. An unstuffy hotel bar that still seems chill when a jazz duo twangs away.

This cool-looking Kentish Town basement bar plays great music at a tasteful volume, and if you’re in one of the ‘cells’ (this used to be a police station), you’re in your own little world. Very special.