Tatooine!
Whether you're a career criminal (no offence) or a loveable rogue with a a heart of gold, this desert planet is perfect for evading Imperial authorities. Adventure is never far away, and everybody still gets excited about racing. Just keep your wits about you, human.
Fiorina "Fury" 161!
You seem like the hardy type, and the setting for Alien 3 is for the bravest pioneers only. The atmosphere's hellish and it's crawling with beasties. There's a human outpost... but its not in such good shape. Have a great stay!
Pandora!
The Avatar homeworld is perfect for total hippies like you. Everyone lives in harmony with nature and hooks up their dreadlocks to horses and stuff. It doesn't look like they've invented the acoustic guitar yet but it's only a matter of time. Peace out.
Vulcan!
Our analysis shows you value intellectual and spiritual pursuits over adventure and excitement, so Star Trek's Vulcan is the planet for you. Everyone goes about in long robes with very serious expressions, and there seems to a be a fair bit of chanting. What's not to like, you massive pseud?
Mongo!
The world of Flash Gordon suits adventurous types like you. Costumes are skimpy, heroes are dumb and muscly, villains are predatory, and its full of noisy fat guys in bondage gear. One for the leather-clad, party-all-night, wake up with a stranger of indeterminate gender/species set.
Solaris!
You're headed to Solaris, the most sophisticated of planets. This ocean world has a consciousness which it uses to mess with any humans in the vicinity. Perfect for weirdos like you who require constant emotional games, psychodrama and chin stroking.
Mars!
...the Total Recall version, anyway. So you're basically a mutant who doesn't fit in at home? Head to Mars to hook up with your own people. Life isn't exactly easy, but there's plenty of booze and three-breasted prostitutes. One for the punks and outsiders.
Planet of the Apes!
Your subconscious need for order means you'll enjoy being placed into a clearly defined social role in a world chimps are sociable, orangutans are smart and gorillas are warlike. Let's face it, you despise filthy humans, yet prefer to live in a kind of medieval squalor.
Earth!
Fascinating: our studies indicate you're best off right here. Just remember, it won't be long before a robot uprising / ape takeover / nuclear holocaust / alien invasion / futuro-fascist state reduces everything to rubble. And then the fun really begins! (Buy canned goods.)
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