Ed Rooney
"I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind."
This is a principal with too much time on his hands. Granted, Ferris is kind of an asshole, and he drives Rooney literally insane—but Rooney deserves it. No man should get such pleasure out of the (attempted) destruction of a young student's life. Also, be nicer to your assistant, Rooney.