
Pompeii
Why so dreadful?
This laughable would-be epic played merry hell with history, showcased some truly dire console game visual effects and tried to sell us on blank-faced Kit Harington as a viable romantic lead. But with Kiefer Sutherland feasting on the scenery and a general air of pantomime mania, it did end up being sort of fun.
What did we say?
‘Parmageddon is nigh in this cheesy ancient-world action melodrama whose simmering main character is a moody Mount Vesuvius.’
Could have been improved by...
Being even worse. We can only imagine.
No one sets out to make a bad movie. Actually, in the year that brought us ‘Zombeavers’ and ‘WolfCop’ that’s perhaps no longer true, but no one sets out to make a truly rotten, joyless, unwatchable slice of tedious crud. And yet somehow, it keeps happening. From hilariously pompous Biblical epics to misguided self-help sagas, from flatulent farmyard animals to the world’s oldest teenagers, here are 2014’s biggest cinematic stinkers.
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