In an interview published in the April issue of GQ, actress Tiffany Haddish—she of Girls Trip fame—revealed that, back in December, she was invited to a party hosted by Beyoncé and Jay-Z, during which Queen Bey was supposedly bit in the face by an actress.
Feel free to gasp alongside the rest of the Internet, which literally exploded and devolved into a frenzy over the anecdote, giving rise to (expected) guesses about who exactly dared bite Beyoncé (and why?!).
Haddish herself just disclosed that she will not reveal who the culprit is since she signed a non-disclosure agreement. We are, therefore, once again treated to a Beyoncé mystery that will likely creep into our thoughts every couple of hours for the next year.
The "who bit Beyoncé?" question joins a canon of other very important queries that we have yet to find answers for. These include:
1. Why did Solange, B's sister, attack Jay-Z on an elevator back in 2014?
2. How does Beyoncé's hair flow so beautifully during her live performances? And, if she's using a wind machine, how does said machine not affect any other person that is on stage with her?
3. Who is "Becky with the good hair?"
4. Was Beyoncé ever really pregnant?
5. Who was her surrogate and how has she been this hush about it all?
6. Why did Solange delete all the pictures featuring Bey on her Instagram account?
7. Speaking of Instagram, does Queen B photoshop her photos before posting them?
8. Did Beyoncé kick some girls out of the original Destiny's Child group?
9. Is she part of the Illuminati?
10. What did her father Mathew Knowles do and why do the two not have a relationship?
11. Why did she change the lyrics to "Resentment" during her 2014 On The Run tour?
12. What the hell was going on here and here?
If anyone has any information about any of the above, please don't hesitate to reach out to me directly.