Some serious spoiler alerts below.
The sixth season of Game of Thrones has arguably been the most exciting and exhilarating one in the show's run. It comes to an end with Sunday's sure-to-be-epic, 69-minute season finale titled “The Winds of Winter.” All across the Seven Kingdoms, the ante has been upped in the game each set of characters find themselves playing in their quest for power.
In honor of that, and to mourn the upcoming nine-month absence of any new episodes from television's best show, we're setting up something that, surprisingly, Tyrion hasn't made Missandei and Grey Worm try to play yet: A Game of Thrones season finale drinking game! So grab your wineskins, pull up the new episode on your parents’ HBO Go account and let's end this thing on a higher note than George R.R. Martin probably will.
Pre-show:
-Pour some of your drink out in remembrance for all the dead homies. Miss ya, Hodor.
During the whole show:
-Have one drink for each death. If scores of men are wiped out in a battle or something similar, chug your drink. If a character you really like dies, get a drink of something strong.
-Have one drink for each bare breast you see. So if you see a woman with her top off, that's two drinks. It'll be like you're right there in the brothel with the characters!
-Drink any time The Hound shows up, because he's a badass and deserves that kind of respect.
Westeros:
-Have one drink for each instance the camera shows Cersei Lannister in her trademark “Resting bitch face.”
-Each time King Tommen acts like the little sissy he is, shake your head and have a drink.
-When Margaery comes on screen, drink until you can find some sort of inebriated understanding as to what the hell her plan is here in all this.
-If somehow those whack job religious zealots are disposed of in some fashion, celebrate in your own way because seriously, screw those guys. They're so bad that they're making us root for Cersei (for The Seven Gods' sake).
Riverrun:
-Have a drink any time Jaime Lannister is referred to as “Kingslayer.”
-Finish your drink if Walder Frey tries something sneaky on Jaime, but it completely backfires on him.
The North:
-Have a drink for any mention of Jon Snow or Sansa Stark's relatives, whether it be their parents, Arya, Rickon, etc.
-Have two drinks anytime Littlefinger does something shifty. Actually, his existence is just one continuous shifty maneuver, so just drink twice any time he appears on screen.
-If they show Melisandre's (The Red Woman) “True form” again, drink until you're blind.
-Drink at the start of any vision Bran Stark has.
-If a White Walker shows up on screen, drink until you feel brave enough to fight it yourself.
Mereen:
-Drink anytime Tyrion drinks. It's impolite to not drink when someone else is, you know.
-If the dragons come on screen, jump out of your seat, hoot and holler about it and chug your drink. This is totally normal behavior that everyone does when the dragons come out, right?
-If Tyrion makes Missandei and Grey Worm try to play a game or drink alcohol again, drink until the awkwardness of the situation subsides.
-If Daenerys gives a rousing speech or makes an epic entrance of some sort, grab two beers and drink them Stone Cold Steve Austin-style.
After the episode:
-Drink away the sadness of no new episodes until next April at the earliest.
Enjoy the finale, everyone. Pace yourself if you decide to play along. Remember what Tyrion said: "It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy!"
Interested in blogging for Time Out? Contact us here