Brits love a good competition. Whether it’s getting overexcited about football, anointing the best tree in the UK, or chasing rounds of Double Gloucester cheese down a steep hill (yes, that’s a thing), there’s just something exciting about putting two or more entities together and letting them duke it out.
However, one of the UK’s most peculiar championships is in jeopardy this year. The competition in question is…The 2023 World Conker Championships. Set to happen in Northamptonshire, the contest will see over 200 ‘conker-meisters’ whack horse chestnuts against each other. Yes, it’s a real thing.
Before you get too excited, the unusual sweltering heat and damp weather this past summer has apparently left chestnuts ‘soft and mushy’, making it almost impossible to keep the games competitive. Organisers are now forced to harden up 3,000 squidgy conkers by baking them in an oven, which was previously understood as cheating.
The game's avid fans are not happy with the decision, citing that it is a ‘sports crisis’. St John Burkett, the tournament spokesperson said: ‘This is the biggest crisis in our history. The conkers are just too soft and mushy. So many conkers have fallen off early due to severe weather and I think global warming may be to blame.’
‘They would just fall apart when hit. We’ve never had to revert to baking conkers before. But we’ve never had conkers this soft before. We live in hope that everything will be okay this year.’
The competition started in 1965 and aims to support charities helping the visually impaired. To date, the fun event has raised £420,000 over the years. That's conkers!
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