It’s not until you get to the very northernmost reaches of England that you realise just how big and varied the country really is. Perched at the top of Cumbria, not far from the Scottish borders, it’s a long, winding adventure through pretty villages and remote country lanes to reach Armathwaite Hall Hotel and Spa, a grand stone pile deep in the wild and much less touristy northern Lake District.
Sandwiched between Bassenthwaite Lake (the fourth largest watery landmark in this part of the world and the only one to use ‘Lake’ in its name), Skiddaw Mountain and the Lake District Fells, the 15th-century manor house is a little pearl of glamour among the craggy surroundings. Inside there are oak-panelled dining rooms that look straight out of a BBC period drama, lobbies with mounted deer heads on the walls and fireplaces as big as a small car, as well as billard rooms lined with framed ‘Punch’ magazine drawings. I stayed in one of the newly refurbished garden suite rooms which are cosy little hideaways with pillowy king-sized beds, mid-century inspired furnishings, private terraces and glamorous touches like soft dressing gowns, slippers, sweet-smelling toiletries and Cumbrian snacks.
The spa is in an extension off the main house with a hydrotherapy pool with plenty of nozels and settings to target different muscles and a thermal suite with a sauna, steam room, aroma room and various fancy showers with different temperatures and sprays. A real highlight is the outdoor hot tub which looks out onto the wooded grounds where you can watch rabbits hopping across the grass.
The treatment rooms are on the spa’s upper floors. I opt for the ‘Glorious Mud’ treatment where after detailing all my my various skin and muscle concerns with care, my therapist lightly brushes my skin before smearing me with a pleasantly warm vitamin-rich clay body mask. Once I’m caked in the aromatic clay she wraps me up in plastic wrapping like a toffee sweet and gives me a pleasantly gripping head massage. By the time my 55 minutes are up, I’m all loose and dewy-eyed with relaxation. It’s an effort to walk over to the post-treatment lounge where there’s cucumber-steeped water and little fruit jellies to finish off the experience.
But the best thing? It’s probably one of the friendliest spas you’ll ever soak in. Despite the grandeur of the main hotel, the wellness complex has been a go-to for the people of Penrith for decades and in the sauna I get chatting with a couple who have been coming to sweat it out here for over 40 years and a tradesman who helped build the place. After half an hour I feel like one of the locals armed with recommendations and stories of all the changes they’ve seen here over the years.
Aside from hanging out in steam rooms, there are plenty of bracing trails to explore from the hotel grounds, access to the shores of Bassenthwaite Lake and down the road is Lake District Wildlife Park where you can see the extraordinary sight of a baby tapir bounding through a Cumbrian beck. There’s no chance of getting bored here and in just a brief 48-hour visit I already feel right at home.