Ok, we know this may be controversial, but picnics kind of suck. Hear us out. A lovely day in the sun: sunburn. Snacks on the ground: ants. Sitting cross legged for more than five minutes: dead leg. For every pro there is an equal and opposite con.
However, after months of rain and with the weather warming up, it’s time to kick it into high gear and organise the picnic of your dreams.
This is arguably the most important part of a picnic. If we have to sit on the ground for an extended period of time, then there’s no reason why we shouldn’t do it in style. Whether this means wearing a pair of shorts or a dress long enough to cover one’s modesty, or it means cushions or camping chairs, it’s well worth the effort to bring a few creature comforts to the outdoors. Pro tip – choose a park near your house and bring a big bag with light, comfy things to sit on.
Sure, sandwiches and cold chicken are fine, but if you want to take things to the next level, let someone else do the work. Most food delivery services will deliver to a park so long as you’re very specific about where to drop it. Pick a spot at the edge of the picnic ground and, in no time, your picnic feast will be zooming through the streets and into your loving arms. With more and more businesses getting on board with biodegradable packaging, you can pop the debris straight into the appropriate bin guilt-free. If you’re really determined to do the hard yards yourself, make some goodies that will last through a grazing session and pre-portion (dealing with knives in public is a bit of a no-no). Cured meats, cheese and pickles are a classic. Swap out Wonder White sandwiches for a baguette, which is basically just one big sando anyway, but way less fiddly and great for sharing.
No one likes that guy who brings the UE Boom to the park and blasts house music for all to hear. Don’t be that guy. Instead, bring some games! Boule, a soccer ball, frisbee, beer pong, finska, there are plenty of ways to keep yourself entertained without ruining someone else's peaceful park time. Shops like Kmart and Target are always packed with awesome games that are super affordable. Why not grab a camping chair while you're at it?
If you live in Australia, you have no excuse for not wearing sunscreen every day anyway, but it’s especially important to protect yourself from the sun if you’re going to be sitting outside for an extended period of time. Sunburn is awful and no one wants to spend the first weeks of spring redder than a $20 bill. Bugs are also the worst, so chuck some repellent into your bag and you won’t have to worry about mozzies while you watch the sun go down.
Flat surfaces are your friends. Someone is bound to knock a beer over in the first hour and then the rest of the picnic will be spent avoiding the wet rug, rendering the whole exercise pointless and, honestly, why did we even bother leaving the house? Bring a chopping board or a platter that can be stowed away in your tote bag or picnic basket and skip the soggy beer puddle.
Take things one step further with a wine spike, a clever coil that you can plant in the grass and pop your drink into while you practice your cartwheels.
Picnics and a brewskie go hand in hand, but copping a massive fine for drinking alcohol in public is a huge bummer that is best avoided. This comes down to choosing the right park and the right bevies for the occasion. Let's break it down. Beer + picnic = good. Beer + picnic + a fine = bad.
Another factor in choosing your picnic spot includes who exactly is welcome at your picnic. Dogs are awesome, we all know that. Dogs at a picnic however, can lead to disaster. Off-leash dog parks may not be the top choice for everyone, particularly if there are rogue labradors who we all know cannot be trusted.
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