When the world lost its mind over Scottish comedian Richard Gadd’s Netflix show Baby Reindeer (a fusion of his solo show of the same name and its equally startling predecessor Monkey See, Monkey Do) for many, the mic drop was twofold. Not only was this an uncomfortably riveting and rarely told story centred on a male survivor of sexual assault and intense stalking, but it’s also mostly true, with only minor tweaks. These twin catastrophes really happened to Gadd, who bears his wounded soul.
The opposite’s true of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s similarly ‘confessional’ solo show-turned-TV sensation, Fleabag. While many of her unnamed character’s fears, hopes and failings are drawn from personal experience, Waller-Bridge has spoken about how she now regrets how many folks have mistaken her fictional family’s dysfunction for the real deal.
Hailing from Francesca Moody Productions, the same creative force helping drive both of those runaway success stories, Feeling Afraid As If Something Terrible Is Going To Happen similarly muddies the waters between truth and fiction to backfoot audiences. Landing at the Sydney Opera House's Playhouse Theatre for Sydney Mardi Gras, it looks for all the world like a stand-up comedy show – thanks to its simple stool, coiled long-cord mic and naught much else but an occasionally flashing lighting set-up.
As punchlines go, it’s a doozy, backed up by Samuel Barnett’s fleet-footed and frenetic delivery...
The resemblance is so uncanny that when Olivier and two-time Tony nominee Samuel Barnett bounds onto the stage and starts regaling us with his concerns over being in his mid-30s, his sexual escapades and the attendant health dramas, plus his neurotic resistance to a possibly maybe relationship with a perfectly lovely American, it feels fired fresh off the cuff.
Only, Barnett (who originated the role of Posner in Alan Bennett’s The History Boys and Nicholas Hytner’s film adaptation) is in his mid-40s, and this isn’t his story. Instead, it’s a passably-true fiction penned by British-Brazilian-Australian writer Marcelo Dos Santos, leaning more Fleabag. He imagines a struggling comedian, played by a game Barnett, who’s determined to break through into the lucrative TV panel show game. At the same time, he can’t quite believe that his chisel-jawed walking stereotype of a “semen-gutter”-sporting suitor (why the odd tone-down from ‘cum’?) is literally unable to laugh for fear of dying.
As punchlines go, it’s a doozy, backed up by Barnett’s fleet-footed and frenetic delivery, ensuring a frantic 70-minute show as directed by Matthew Xia. Over a hazy London summer of tingling Gin and Tonics and tongue-tied bedroom tête-à-têtes, our comedian – not “comic”, thanks very much – navigates whether he can hack an actual relationship while kicking his career into high gear. Body-swerving coke and casual sex is optional.
For the uninitiated, there’s probably more mileage to be had out of his musing on the transactional and oft self-defeating nature of endless Grindr scrolling – there’s an inexplicable coyness as the app and its siblings go unnamed. But for a Sydney Mardi Gras crowd, this stuff might verge on the staler end of show-and-tell business. It does deliver Feeling Afraid’s most affecting moment, however, when a misfiring threesome deftly manages to hop-skip from sex-positive to positively unnerved and back again in a heartbeat.
Playing with society and an audience’s expectations, there is promise in Feeling Afraid’s nimbly shifting form that pokes and prods at the truths and lies we tell ourselves and one another. And while there’s excellent stagecraft at play in off-mic moments, it could stand to slow down a little and pause more often; allowing more room for Barnett to breathe, and amplifying the bravado-piercing moments of self-doubt that hint at a stronger show, so close to the surface. Instead, we dash on past, teased like the regular show-stopping spurts of an explosive sexual health drama that’s left without a climax.
(Note: this review was originally published on January 16, following the Melbourne premiere of Feeling Afriad for Midsumma Festival.)
Feeling Afraid as if Something Terrible is Going to Happen is playing at Sydney Opera House from February 5–23. Tickets range from $64.90-$74.90, and you can grab yours here.
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