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Unless you’re part of a run club, 5.30pm on a Tuesday isn’t the sexiest time for a dinner reservation. But it’s the only one that was available at Neptune’s Grotto, the new subterranean Italian restaurant from chefs Dan Pepperell, Mikey Clift and sommelier Andy Tyson. When I first dined at sibling venues – red-hued, Taylor Swift-approved Pellegrino 2000, and New York-style steak house and clam dunk, Clam Bar – I sat down around 5pm on a Tuesday, too. Italians are probably getting up from their riposo at that time. But the trio’s diners – including Potts Points’ pink-tableclothed Bistrot 916 (miss you) – are so damn good that Sydneysiders will take what they can get. And feel #grateful.
Neptune’s Grotto is located in the basement of Clam Bar, and you enter via Loftus Lane. We descend the stairs and are met by zebra carpet, a host in a smart-looking suit and a long room packed with other 5pmers. Couples are seated along the marble bar, while the other side is filled with barolo-coloured leather booths, crisp white tablecloths and flickering candles. A mural of a rambunctious dinner party runs along the wall, and in the centre, a statue of Neptune, the Roman god of the sea, towers over us. I'm a Believer plays overhead, but instead of The Monkees or Smash Mouth, it's sung in Italian by a woman.
I'm already in love with Neptune's Grotto
It’s a 30-something degree day in Sydney and my Pantelleria Sunrise – swirling with holiday-like mango, blood orange amaro, soda for fizz and lemon to temper the sweetness – is a fruity and cooling antidote to my underboob sweat. My date’s Neptune’s Sour features myrto, a popular Sardinian liqueur made from myrtle berries, as the headliner. Supporting acts of gin, lemon and an egg-white foam result in a perfectly tart drink.
Waiters are wearing a similar get-up to upstairs, but instead of butter-yellow, they're wearing Prince-coded purple jackets. Part of the kitchen is down the end of the bar so guests have a front-row seat to the action, and tonight Pepperell is in the centre, chopping up, plating up and adding finesse. Meanwhile Tyson, wearing a pinstripe suit and an excellent red bow tie, is working the floor, pouring wine, and letting us know their pasta master comes in at 5am each day to work on his dough. Hello, hunger.
We’re also told we should probably start with the house-baked focaccia. And when it arrives, still warm and fluffy, we’re glad we listened. It’s even better mopping up the glorious sauce from a simple yet bang-on zucchine alla scapece. Thin slices of roasted green and golden zuchs are doused in tangy vinegar, fresh mint and enough garlic to repel next week’s date. Tyson tells us an Italian couple recently came in and were moved to tears, remembering their nonnas making it for them every holiday growing up. It tastes like summer.
A riff on vitello tonnato, an all-time classic, sees tuna get the boot in favour of a creamy smoked eel sauce, which is paired with tender, poached veal. On top, crisp fried capers and sliced caperberries provide the welcome salty, briny hit. It’s an elegant rendition and one I have an urge to tell my mum about.
Not asking Tyson about his wine list, which is like a shrine to Italy’s finest grapes, would be like watching a sunrise at Bronte and not taking a pic
It’s a joy to hear him speak and recommend the offerings, including a glass of Giacomo Boveri timorasso 2023 from Piedmont that’s light and clean-tasting. Elsewhere on the by-the-glass list, there are wines from Tuscany, Sicily and a handful of Aussie ones, starting from $15. Big tick.
Chubby, green tortelloni arrive in a pool of butter, dusted with shaved truffle and studded with toasted hazelnuts. Inside is a smooth ricotta and artichoke filling that’s rich with umami flavour. The dish is so exquisite we stop talking. A bowl of thin, golden tajarin twirled through a bright pomodoro sauce dotted with soft cherry tomatoes and basil follows, cementing what Italians live and breathe: simple is often best. Meanwhile, cotoletta alla Milanese comes crumbed, golden and under a snow of cheese. It's served with lemon segments that cut through and lift, and the veal is rosy and succulent.
We finish with two scoops of gelato. One is apricot, which is as sweet and juicy as if you had just picked the fruit off the tree. The other is velvet-like hazelnut.
It’s a fitting finale to a dinner of flawlessly seasoned, beautifully presented, make-you-dance-in-your-seat Italian hits
Excluding a waterfront lunch at Medusa in Milos, and a tortilla- and steak-fuelled dinner at Bar Nestor in San Sebastian, Neptune’s Grotto was the most delicious meal I had in 2024. Perhaps the most challenging thing won’t be getting in on a Saturday, but next time not eating so much that I don’t roll out like a stuffed tortellino. #Noregrets. Forget the run club – run to make a booking here.
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