2020 has been a testing time for us all. Now, Arnott's – once our iso-saviour, sugar-coating lockdown by dropping secret Monte Carlo recipes – has apparently decided we can handle a little more trauma in our lives. Under the guise of treating us, Arnott's has released a truly frightening selection of flavour combinations designed to test even the hardiest of stomachs – and is asking we, the people, to vote on which would be the least terrible.
The favours are all British-inspired, and come off the back of UK prime minister Boris Johnson tenuously weaving Tim Tams into a narrative about why Australia and the UK should be entering into a free trade agreement. “I want a world in which we send you Marmite, and you send us Vegemite,” he said. Us too, Boris. Us too.
While the rest of us sat back and just imagined what that brave new world would look like, Arnott's, taking the PM at his word, rose to the challenge to create four new flavour concepts for people to vote on: Bangers and Mash, Fish and Chips, Scotch Egg (!) or Scones and Cream.
Obviously, there's only really one palatable flavour in the mix – a Tim Tam sandwiched with jammy, creamy filling sounds like an utter delight – but we are also the country which welcomed the arrival of Vegemite Cadbury chocolate, so really, this writer is preparing for the worst.
Head to their Instagram to vote now. Polls close at 3pm Friday, June 19. And make the right choice – you only have (sc)one chance to change the course of history.