Red Door Cafe

Prudish diners, you've been warned: Red Door Cafe is not for the faint of heart. The Lower Pac Heights eatery is raunchy AF, offering breakfast and brunch dishes that would make even your most foul-mouthed friend blush—Two Big Titties, No One Sucks it Like a Straight Man From Texas, and Dump Your Wife and Lick My Snatch (that would be a toasted French bâtard with crème fraîche, smoked salmon and two eggs). Amidst tabbles scattered with dildos and dolls, pairs of diners (groups larger than two are not allowed in the small space) are entertained by Ahmed, the owner and scantily clad server, between bites of French toast and truffle oil-doused omelets. Be sure to read the rules before you enter: no sunglasses, no egg white orders and no pushy assholes, among others.