Two days in Paris are enough to shatter and rebuild a relationship, as Julie Delpy's film would have it. The city is a "lesson in the point of Life", according to Thomas Jefferson; the place "where good Americans go when they die", in Oscar Wilde's words; such is its glitzy magnetism, its romantic appeal, that it threatens to overwhelm the first-time visitor – especially one with only a weekend to spare.
Which is where our tailor-made itineraries come in. Whether you're here to see the Mona Lisa or buy a dildo in the shape of the Eiffel Tower, stroll down the grands boulevards or patrol the dark alleyways of the Montmartre demimonde, we have the perfect schedule for you. We've catered equally for shoestring backpackers and big budgets, Paris virgins and veterans. Each weekend plan is split into two day-long agendas, complete with recommendations for food, drink and accommodation, and supplementary activities for those with extra time on their hands. We've designed them so that you can cram a lot in without going overboard, and hopefully come away that little bit wiser as to the point of Life.
Want to know what's on in the city over the weekend you visit? Look no further than our perfect weekend guide with event recommendations and new reviews, updated every week to give you an idea of what's hot every Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Think we've missed something obvious? Let us know in the comments box below.