As someone whose data often runs out mid-month, I was pumped about the idea of subway Wi-Fi. That is, until I learned that “Subway Wi-Fi” is nothing more than a sick joke played on innocent riders.
RECOMMENDED: See more New York rants
First off, the Wi-Fi doesn’t stay connected from station to station; it only works on the platforms. So, in between stations, you’re Wi-Fi–less. In all fairness, I have literally zero idea how Wi-Fi works—to be honest, I believe it is made of magic. But the Transit Wireless website claims that you can “stay connected while in transit,” which is actually just the transit system lying directly to our collective face. As if you haven’t hurt us enough, MTA?
But here’s the really fun part: With the average stop lasting about a minute, it’s a mad rush to reconnect at each stop. In order to reconnect, you need to watch a “short” video. Always on schedule, that video plays for the exact amount of time the doors are open. Just when the signal bars finally appear on your phone, the train zooms into the tunnel and your connection is lost, leaving you with only the afterimage—burned upon your retina—of a goofy ad you’ve seen a billion times. Guess I'll just look like a crazy person and not look at my phone the entire ride.
