16 types of jerks every New Yorker encounters

Golf umbrellas are basically parachutes with dangerous tines. Really, is it even raining that hard?

Your accessories are an extension of your body, so please be mindful of your bags, scarves and capes hitting other people.

Since life moves pretty fast on the streets of New York, under no circumstances should you ever come to an abrupt halt.

If you must puff, stand on the curb and exhale into traffic.

We know you have important places to go, just like all of us driving cars, riding buses or biking down the street.

Admittedly, we’ve never actually witnessed someone spit their gum on the sidewalk, but there sure is a lot of it.

One of these days, you’re going to do us all a favor and trip over a fire hydrant.

No, we don’t have five minutes to save the… redheads?

Great, now every basic New Yorker is going to have to stage an IG shoot there.

We get it: You’re on the move. Us, too. But you’re going to take someone’s eye out with those things.

Go ahead, poach the taxi, but we hope the driver talks your ear off about politics and the credit-card machine doesn’t work.

Please, while you may not want to admit that your squad has a pecking order, no more than three across when in transit.

Okay. Wait, it costs $10? You do realize that you were born into the generation that doesn’t pay for music, right?

We’re not even sure you should be riding that goofy contraption on the street, never mind around pedestrians.

Doesn’t matter if it’s a celebrity or just an interesting-looking person: If you want to take someone’s picture, ask them first.

Listen, that dog is cute as hell, but the pavement isn’t your personal red-rover court. Also, is it cool if we pet the pup?