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We just uncovered the State of NYC311 20th anniversary report and, although the document dates back to March of this year, we just couldn't help but share some of the survey's findings with the city at large.
In addition to dissecting the average number of contacts per day and the ways that the 311 system has helped make New York better and safer, officials asked customer service representatives, managers and executives about some of the most memorable complaints and requests that they have received over the past two decades.
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The answers are absolutely hilarious, so we figured we'd list them just as they are on the report. Grab a tissue, though, because you're about to cry from laughter:
1. A cat is terrorizing someone through a screen door. (2003)
2. I’d like to file a noise complaint against my refrigerator. (2004)
3. Can you tell me the steps for boiling a live chicken? (2005)
4. Can I claim my dog as a dependent on my taxes? (2006)
5. Who won “American Idol”? (2007)
6. How long does a baseball game typically last? (2008)
7. Can I use Medicaid for my cat’s surgery? (2009)
8. Can you check if my boyfriend is married? (2009)
9. Is there a law limiting how many times you can flush the toilet? (2013)
10. What is the best pizza near me? (Multiple years)
11. When does Santa land in Manhattan? (Multiple years)
12. A raccoon is eating lasagna on my porch. (2014)
13. Do dogs see in black & white or in color? (2015)
14. I’d like to report a ghost in my window. (2015)
15. How do I cook a turkey for Thanksgiving? (2016)
16. I’d like to report my neighbor for waving to everyone on the block. (2018)
17. A goat is tied to the stairwell in my building. (2016)
18. If a couple is divorced, can they still live in the same house but in different rooms? (2019)
19. Can someone spray the trees so the leaves stop falling? (2022)
20. Can you transfer me to a “UFO-ologist”? (2023)
New York is, clearly, the city that keeps on giving.