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We may already be a few months into 2017, but that doesn’t mean we still don’t have a lot of things to look forward to in the year ahead. Here are some the big changes coming to Gotham over the next nine months that we’re most excited about.
1. De Blasio is launching a city-wide submarine service
The mayor’s office made waves (get it?) last year when it announced that a new Citywide Ferry service is coming to New York in June 2017. But now it looks like ol’ Billy is going a step further in his quest to connect the city by way of maritime vessels. Last week, it was announced that the city is adding a set of 12 submarines to its fleet. The U-boats will stop at the same locations as the Citywide Ferry service, but will travel beneath the water, allegedly leading to quicker travel times because they won’t have to worry about any of that pesky boat traffic. —Clayton Guse
2. Metrograph will be presenting a retrospective of Steve Gutenberg
Following up its hotly received retrospectives of Brian De Palma and Isabelle Huppert, Metrograph will be presenting “Up the Academy: The Madcap Genius of Steve Guttenberg.” Screenings include Police Academy, Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment, Police Academy 3: Back in Training, Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol, and—a fascinating stretch for Guttenberg—Short Circuit. —Will Pulos
3. New 14th Street trolley will launch to prepare for L train shutdown
The L train is closing for at least 15 months in 2019, which will directly impact the commutes of hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers. Luckily, the city has a plan to mitigate the negative effects of the shutdown (or at least in Manhattan). The Department of Transportation has announced a $500 million project that will bring a brand new cross-island trolley to 14th Street by the end of the year. The trolley will be a far cry from similar services in cities like San Francisco and New Orleans—this sucker will top out at 50 miles per hour, making it an even quicker option than current L train service in Manhattan. —CG
4. All rent in the city will be capped at $600 per person
Mayor Bill de Blasio is pulling out all of the stops before he campaigns for re-election this fall, and his latest is an absolute doozy. Last week, he announced that he’s introducing an initiative to cap rent on new leases across New York at $600 per person, making one of the most expensive cities in the country one of the most affordable. Rejoice, New Yorkers—life is about to get much, much easier. —CG
5. Trump Tower will become a literal white house
Since President Donald Trump took office, areas of Manhattan around Trump Tower have been ripe with Secret Service agents and all sorts of security measures that have left the city on edge. First Lady Melania Trump is residing in the building full-time, along with the youngest Trump child, Barron. But Trump Tower—and New York City overall—is poised to undergo a huge transformation as the president announced on Friday that the building will become a “literal White House.” He tweeted that he is already moving the White House’s Situation Room into Trump Tower, and the rest of the administration will follow suit in the coming months. New York was the original capital of the United States, and now it’s looking like the city will return to those roots. Trump’s decorators have convinced him to retile the front of the building with ivory tiles and columns, and they’ll be adding a public first-floor restaurant that will serve thick-crust pizza and well-done steaks. —CG
6. All Seamless orders will have to be delivered within 30 minutes
Sure, it may be a blatant ploy for reelection. That doesn’t mean we’re any less excited about the new legislation signed into law by Mayor de Blasio that mandates all Seamless orders be delivered within 30 minutes. Beginning June 1, any restaurant that doesn’t get to your door before the half-hour mark will be forced to either comp your meal or pay a $50 fine. —WP
7. There’s going to be a rooftop food truck festival this spring
It’s all our favorite things—rooftops! Food trucks! Festivals!—rolled into one. Sadly, party planners got overly eager about the title of the event and forgot to consider the logistics of hoisting food trucks up 50-plus floors to one of the city’s best rooftop bars. They now must decide between dropping them down via helicopter or disassembling the trucks and carrying them up piece by piece, pivoting like Ross Geller. —Rebecca Fontana
8. 432 Park is going to be painted millennial pink to make it less ugly
New York’s ugliest new high rise, 432 Park, is not exactly an architectural wonder (its design was literally inspired by a trash can). It’s the third-tallest building in the U.S., and has received an endless amount of negative feedback from the public and critics alike. The tower’s owners have fortunately taken note, and are now moving forward with a plan to revamp the facade of the place by painting it a shade of bright millennial pink. The project will be completed by the end of the year, and will cost $100 million. Developers initially had a longer timeline for the effort, but said, “We just can’t look at this shit any more,” and expedited the work. —CG
9. The beloved Bryant Park Winter Village will now remain open year-round
What do you get when you cross Christmas Day with Groundhog Day? The Bryant Park Winter Village for an entire 365 days! If you’re the kind of person who keeps your Christmas tree up until March, this is for you. Sure, it may be uncomfortable watching the outdoor summer movie screenings while sitting on the ice-skating rink, but it’s worth it for Christmas in July. Because there’s nothing more festive than slathering on sunscreen beneath a Christmas tree. —RF
10. Subways will now have reserved seating
As part of its ongoing revamp of the city’s subway system—from new trains to renovated stations—the MTA is scheduled to introduce reserved seating across every line at the end of August. After swiping your MetroCard, you’ll soon be presented with a screen showing all of the available seats on the next train heading towards the station. Finally, the end of crowded morning subways AND manspreading! —WP
11. Hillary Clinton will make her Broadway debut
We knew Hillary Clinton was sneaking into the audience of Broadway shows like The Color Purple, Sunset Boulevard and In Transit post-election, but did you know she’s also been sneaking into rehearsals? It’s true: She’s throwing herself into production on Nasty Woman, the whirlwind tale of a tenacious female politician who went from fiercely battling for the White House to a life of singing tunes with woodland creatures in the forest. —RF
12. A new “golden ticket” system is launching to replace affordable housing lotteries
Taking a cue from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’s Broadway debut, affordable housing lotteries in NYC will now choose their winners by hiding golden tickets throughout the city. The first residents to find a ticket receive an $897 studio in Brooklyn or a $519 apartment on the LES. Want a hint for where to start? Start with the best chocolate shops and make your way to the Gowanus Canal, which strongly resembles Wonka’s chocolate river (but with a much more pungent scent). —RF
13. The city is replacing CitiBikes with CitiWheelies (they’re shoes with wheels!)
Biking is so last year and Heelys are so 2000, but Citi Heelys are all the rage right now. Citi Bike is expanding with rental racks of the wheeled shoes to make it easier to navigate the city and annoy every single person in your path. Just don’t think too hard about how disgusting it is to share footwear with strangers. —RF