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It’s all fun and games until someone takes a cork in the eye. Regrets, we have a few. And, when it comes to New Year’s Eve—a.k.a. amateur night—so do you. We collected some stories from readers who feel like New Year’s Eve dropped the ball on them. One minute they were swinging from the chandeliers, and the next minute they were bleeding on the carpet. Learn from each other, people, and don’t let this happen to you!
Hurling toward oblivion
“I went to a house party in deep Brooklyn. The girl who lived there was pretty tipsy and asked me if I wanted to kiss at midnight. I said sure. Midnight comes, and she drunkenly pukes on my shoulder, and it runs down my shirt. I then tried not to get sick on her. I failed.”
—Mark, 30, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Bye bi baby
“One year, I watched my girlfriend at the time make out with her friend on a roof in Bed-Stuy because it was ‘just for fun.’”
—Dylan, 25, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
New tears eve
“I had gone through a very bad breakup and got incredibly drunk at a stranger’s rooftop party in Brooklyn. When the countdown began, I for some reason started crying hysterically. I had to go hide in the stairwell and bawl to myself for a solid five minutes.”
—Jenny, 28, Upper West Side
The late show
“I made the grave mistake of buying tickets to see Sandra Bernhard at a theater in the heart of Times Square. It didn’t occur to us that the police wouldn’t let us through the barricades to see the show, but we finally begged our way in. Sandra was at least an hour late—she couldn’t get through either. Easily one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done.”
—Lex, 39, Upper West Side
Train teaser
“I took a train from Poughkeepsie, New York, that should have gotten me home in time to shower and dress and head to a party. Instead, the train (full of increasingly loud and drunk partyers) got stuck on the wrong track or something, so we stopped for 20 minutes and then had to drive backward for 35 minutes to another station to get to the right track. Every minute ramped up my anxiety. I got home so late that I just went to bed, sadder than ever, and the midnight fireworks woke me up. More anxiety.”
—Katey, 32, Upper East Side
Curb appeal
“Well, first I lost my phone. That sucked. Then on my way home I noticed a stranger bleeding on the curb. I used his phone to call 911 and waited for the ambulance to arrive, while holding his bleeding head in my hand. Rough start to the New Year.”
—Lana, 26, Williamsburg, Brooklyn