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Some teams will be playing some sport on TV this Sunday evening, and people are, like, freaking out about it. Here's five bars you can head to and completely avoid the Super Bowl: no jerseys, no yelling at coaches on the screen that are in reality thousands of miles away and absolutely no muttering of the words "we" when talking about athletes people have never met.
Hotel Delmano
Williamsburg, Brooklyn
A raw bar. Meat and cheese plates. Speakeasy ambience. Delicious cocktails. Not a Seahawk in sight.
The Blind Barber
Alphabet City
Outside it's a functioning barber shop, and inside it's a low-lit haven. Cozy up on black leather banquettes and order a seasonal cocktail—once the whiskey hits get up and dance. And get a free drink with any barber service.
PDT
East Village
While everyone's glued to that game thingy going on in the rest of the city, you just might be able to finally score a table at PDT. Call promptly at 3pm (seriously, we once dialed over and over for 45 minutes before getting through) for a reservation, then slip through the phone booth at Crif Dogs into a high-low mix of culinary greatness. Try out dogs covered in everything from kimchi to mayonnaise alongside cocktails from legendary barkeep Jim Meehan.
Beauty Bar
Park Slope, Brooklyn
Get your nails did while you get your drink on at the Brooklyn branch of Beauty Bar. The latenight crowd can get pretty wild, but being tipsy while sitting in a hair dryer chair is still classier than screaming to a teeny tiny television ref "ARE YOU BLIND?"
Dutch Kills
Long Island City, Queens
In case you haven't heard, Queens is the new drinking capital of New York, and Dutch Kills is the best kind: no frills, except when it comes to the cocktails. Be adventurous and order a gin fizz, made with egg whites—they're as close to perfection as you can get here.