Buceo 95

Don’t count on the slow, blasé servers to help you navigate the two-page wine list or short tapas menu at this butter-hued UWS joint. A silver-haired crowd loiters over middling plates like gluey ham, cheese and mushroom croquettes paired with a junky pimento aioli. Intriguingly tangy red and golden beets showed a glimpse of promise thanks to slivers of brisk Valdéon blue cheese, but desserts—unremarkable chocolate empanadas—disappointed. You’d be better off drinking your calories with port or sherry.