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The best butts at The Metropolitan Museum of Art

From Impressionism to ancient art, we've got the backstory on the best butts at The Metropolitan Museum of Art

Written by Howard Halle
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Ah, The Metropolitan Museum of Art! Sitting on Fifth Avenue next to Central Park, The Met is the stolid anchor of NYC's Museum Mile. Tens of thousands of visitors flock to its magisterial galleries to take in 5,000 years of art-historical treasures. But do you know what else is on view that’s often overlooked? Butts! All kinds of butts: Female butts, male butts, tight butts, fat butts—and also phat butts. As a service to readers who may not be totally aware of The Met's bum-per crop of buns, Time Out New York offers it select guide to The best butts at The Metropolitan Museum of Art. 

RECOMMENDED: Full guide to best art museums

The best butts at The Metropolitan Museum of Art

1. Marble statue of a wounded warrior, ca. A.D. 138–181

Marble statue of a wounded warrior, ca. A.D. 138–181
Marble statue of a wounded warrior, ca. A.D. 138–181
Photograph: Marc Hope

This Roman copy of a much older Greek bronze is not only half-assed, it has a gigantic stick up its ass.

2. Joos van Cleve, The Last Judgment, ca. 1520–25

Joos van Cleve, The Last Judgment, ca. 1520–25
Joos van Cleve, The Last Judgment, ca. 1520–25
Photograph: The Metropolitan Museum of Art

It's time for Jesus to sort out who's been naughty and who's been nice in this Last Judgment scene where the damned are being given the bum's rush out of heaven.

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3. Marble female figure, 4500–4000 B.C.

Marble female figure, 4500–4000 B.C.
Marble female figure, 4500–4000 B.C.
Photograph: Marc Hope

This ancient Cycladic statue puts a very old spin on junk in the trunk.

4. Titian, Venus and Adonis, 1485/90–1576

Titian, Venus and Adonis, 1485/90–1576
Titian, Venus and Adonis, 1485/90–1576
Photograph: The Metropolitan Museum of Art

In this mythological scene, Venus is trying to stop Adonis from going off to the hunt, but he wants to leave her behind.

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5. Kongo Power Figure 19th Century

Kongo Power Figure 19th Century
Kongo Power Figure 19th Century
Photograph: Marc Hope

Crack is most certainly not whack in this African sculpture.

6. Lucas Cranach the Elder, The Judgment of Paris, ca. 1528

Lucas Cranach the Elder, The Judgment of Paris, ca. 1528
Lucas Cranach the Elder, The Judgment of Paris, ca. 1528
Photograph: The Metropolitan Museum of Art

This version of The Judgment of Paris depicts the story as a booty pageant.

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7. Armor of Emperor Ferdinand I, 1549

Armor of Emperor Ferdinand I, 1549
Armor of Emperor Ferdinand I, 1549
Photograph: Marc Hope

While the Emperor's tuchus is left exposed in this suit of armor, the same can't be said for his schwanz.

8. Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Woman before a Mirror, 1897

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Woman before a Mirror, 1897
Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Woman before a Mirror, 1897
Photograph: The Metropolitan Museum of Art

Baby's got back (and front) in this rendering of a Parisian prostitute.

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9. Antonio Canova, Perseus with the Head of Medusa, 1804–6

Antonio Canova, Perseus with the Head of Medusa, 1804–6
Antonio Canova, Perseus with the Head of Medusa, 1804–6
Photograph: Marc Hope

Yes this figure of Perseus is sculpted in stone, but he still has buns of steel.

10. Henry Lerolle, The Organ Rehearsal, 1887

Henry Lerolle, The Organ Rehearsal, 1887
Henry Lerolle, The Organ Rehearsal, 1887
Photograph: The Metropolitan Museum of Art

We've got only one word for this: Badonkadonk.

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