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Now that we're a few weeks into #ParentingInAPandemic, let's take a moment to check in with something we're calling Parenting Fails: At-Home Edition. (You can check out other hysterical Parenting Fails on the Time Out site or in our latest print issue.)
Wait, do you mean that your daily life isn't like a PBS program? You don't have inquisitive yet respectful children who decide on their own to make a scale replica of Versailles then quietly clean up after themselves, make their own lunches and log on to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium website crunch data in an open-source project that tracks whale migration? Yep, we don't either.
Still, we can make the best of this Time In. Why not order in from one of the best family restaurants in NYC doing delivery and stream a movie—maybe one of the 50 greatest family movies to watch together, or one of the best family comedy movies, or movies for kids set in NYC or the greatest Disney movies of all time.
But first, read on and see how your fellow parents are keeping it together. Remember, as long as you keep your family safe—and reasonably happy—you're winning!
"Mom, do you still have Dad's power saw?"
— Socially Distant Willowbottom (@Willowbottom) April 16, 2020
Why?
"I really want to trim my hair."
This escalated quickly. #ParentingInAPandemic
Finger painting is 30 minutes of set up, 30 minutes of clean up and 2 minutes of painting. I have a certain finger expression I’d like to use now... #ParentingInAPandemic
— Matthew Price (@Dr_Matt_P) April 2, 2020
My 2 year old son and i had a disagreement because he cant accept that kermit is a frog. #fatherhood #parenting
— Euzel Jhon Posadas (@euzeljhon) April 11, 2020
5yo, mischievously: "Do you want to have a special fun kind of Easter egg hunt?"
— Christine Boyle (@christineeboyle) April 12, 2020
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Long
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Suspenseful
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Pause
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5yo, glowing: "I hid your keys."
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.#Easter2020 #ParentingInAPandemic
According to my daughter, we’ve reached the “Why do we keep eating weird stuff?” stage of quarantine#ParentingInAPandemic
— Bridget Weldon (@Bewell24) April 14, 2020
I’ve sang the Carole Baskin savage remix so much that my 3yo finishes it when I start singing it.
— EPMD 🖤 (@eeyonce) April 9, 2020
Me: Carole Baskin!
Mila (from afar): killed her husband, wacked him! #ParentingFail 🥴
My 3yo announced this morning that he was going to go downstairs for a workout, then proceeded to eat a bunch of Easter candy instead. Same kid, same. #ParentingInAPandemic
— Erica Price Burns (@Erica_M_Price) April 14, 2020
I feel like I'm on maternity leave but I'm still working and my kids can talk back🤷♀️🤦♀️ @BackesEric #ParentingInAPandemic
— Bethany Backes (@bbackes321) April 14, 2020
Day 22 of school closure.
— 🥧 SUZANNE 🥧 (@425suzanne) April 13, 2020
By 9am:
11yo gashed her foot on a piece of metal. 😭
8yo collided heads hard with the dog. 🤕
So they’ll skip schoolwork for now and watch Scooby Doo and eat popcorn for breakfast. 🍿#parenting
My 5yr old just gave me 5 stars and two thumbs up for my @kraftmacncheese! She said it was better than Easter dinner 🤣 #ParentingInAPandemic #WorkFromHome
— Michelle (@MeShell206) April 13, 2020
If your house hasn’t been turned into a permanent fort by now, are you even a parent? #ParentingInAPandemic
— Nicole Gagliardi (@NickiGagliardi) April 12, 2020
The biggest lesson I’ve learned from my children is when I feel sad, I’m probably not actually sad. I’m probably just tired or hungry. #parenting
— Ryan Belleville (@ryanbelleville) April 13, 2020
My toddler is actively working against me. Every time I think I have her nap schedule figured out, and I schedule all my conference calls during that time, she switches things up. I swear she is using psychological warfare against me. #ParentingInAPandemic
— saraprentice (@saraprentice) April 13, 2020
Me: I’m so frustrated! I don’t understand any of this!!!
— Mariah Ankenman (@mariahankenman) April 13, 2020
Hubby: Watching the news again?
Me: No! I’m trying to help our 1st grader with her school work!#ParentingInAPandemic #payteachersmore #onlinelearning
Starting to feel like a bartender at a bar that only serves chocolate milk #momlife #ParentingInLockdown #ParentingInAPandemic
— Florida_mom_904 (@904Mom) April 15, 2020
Evan peed on my leg during my live meeting with my students this morning. I laughed and just kept going! #momwin #teacherwin #workingfromhome
— Martha MacKay (@marthaamackay) April 13, 2020
I have just locked him out in the backyard for playtime while I have a cup of tea.#parentingfail #homeschoolfail
— David K Smith (@professor_dave) April 2, 2020
Toddlers are fun because you hear yourself say things like “get your hands out of the toilet and don’t eat your shoes” in the same sentence (as in one hand was putting dirty shoe in mouth+the other was ready to plunge into toilet bowl) @rachelkourelis #ParentingInAPandemic
— Taxiarchis Kourelis (@Taxkourel) April 13, 2020
Just had to tell my 6 yr old that the tooth fairy 🧚♀️ didn’t come because of coronavirus isolation restrictions 🤷🏼♀️🙈 in other words... I forgot 😬 #badmom #parentingfail
— Gail Emms (@gailemms) March 27, 2020
We’ve had a lot of complicated questions in the last two weeks. Today, Jack asked me where pepperoni come from...if they grow in the ground or on trees. I did not have the heart to explain where meat comes from. #parentingfail
— Whitney (@WhitBBurns) March 23, 2020
4 yo daughter today:
— Rather be reading 📚🍷🔥 (@be_reading) April 15, 2020
Me: when are you going to learn you can’t stick your tongue out at your brothers and sisters it’s rude?
Her: maybe when I go back to nursery?! 🙄😬🙈 #parentingfail
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