There's definitely a learning curve when you move to New York City...and these things will (more than likely) happen during your first months living here. Welcome, and good luck!
1. You’ll quickly deduce that an empty subway car is not a magical gift from the gods of Gotham. It is a vault of deception.
2. The littles will develop hardcore opinions about the best slice in the neighborhood (NYC pizza...yuhsss).
3. You’ll find out that New Yorkers are actually happy to give you directions (as long as they’re not on their way to work).
4. Your heart will sink a little in that moment where you first think a bodega is actually New York’s version of a grocery store, then you’ll find a real grocery store and breathe a sigh of relief…until you realize that feeding your army is going to cost an arm and a leg…and then maybe cry silent tears.
5. Your kids will become cooler than you ever were.
6. They will also learn to handle rejection early on in life…#preschool.
7. In a moment of desperation in a torrential rainstorm, you will buy those cheap street umbrellas for you and the kids. They will fail you.
8. Avenue blocks are longer than street blocks. Did you learn the hard way? Yes, yes you did.
9. You will downsize, and in the process master the art of small-space living. And probably visit IKEA.
10. You will go to IKEA on a Saturday, not knowing what you've gotten yourself into. Your kids won't care that it's a zoo because heck, there's Smaland and Swedish meatballs!
11. Your kids will see something inappropriate happen in the neighbor’s window across the way and ask you about it. You’ll then buy a curtain.
12. You’ll realize that the helpful dog park rule of “No dogs without people, no people without dogs” also applies to playgrounds.
13. You’ll also become a playground networking ninja–some of life’s best networking is done on the benches of NYC’s playscapes.
14. You will inevitably fall in love with this amazing place, because despite its quirks, it's the best city in the world to raise kids.