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Florida’s reopening is imminent, and that’s got us thinking. As excited as we are for life to go back to “normal,” are we really ready? While we’re braced for the general anxiety going out might induce, it seems we’re totally ill-prepared for things like pants and sitting in an office all day. According to the people we polled, life in lockdown is actually pretty sweet. We can go days without brushing our hair, there’s less traffic to complain about and personal space is no longer a luxury in public spaces. There are definite cons like not being able to go for a drink at our favorite Miami bar or hit up the beach, but for some, these are harmless trade-offs. Now that this strange, dystopian life we’ve grown accustomed to might actually be over very soon, we’re hoping a few of these temporary realities stick around long after the shutdown.
1. Less traffic. We know we said we wouldn’t complain about this, but who were we kidding? Traffic in Miami is the actual worst. Have you seen I-95 lately? It is glorious.
2. Great weather. Fewer people out has helped climate change immensely, and while it’s still hot AF in Miami, at least it’s far less rainier than we’re used to.
3. Everyone remaining six-feet apart. Hooray for personal space!
4. Gyms staying closed. No more excuses, we literally cannot workout. Plus, we’ll get to finally stop paying for the membership we never, ever use.
5. Seeing our neighbors. Normally, we’d hate making small talk with the people next door but it’s sort of nice to know who lives there/confirm it’s not a serial killer. (Or is it?)
6. Zoom workouts. If gyms stay closed but we continue to have Zoom workouts, the people who actually want to work out can do so and the rest of us can just stop pretending.
7. Zoom everything. We can dream that traffic won’t go back to being abhorrent but it will. And since getting stuck on the Palmetto or I-95 is the thing that keeps us from socializing after work, let’s continue to do more things virtually—like book clubs and brunches with faraway friends.
8. Drive-by baby showers. We will drive to Mars, honk our horns loudly and wave our handmade signs if it means never having to play a stupid baby-themed game ever again.
9. Inconvenient birthday dinners. Want to come to my 25-person sit-down birthday party next week? Sorry, it’s illegal.
10. Working remotely. It took a global crisis to get employers to warm up to the idea that working from home can actually be productive. We hope offices reopening doesn’t change their thinking.
11. Art on demand. Museum tours, drawing classes—you name it. It's available right now and it's likely free.
12. Free premium entertainment in general. HBO, Sirius and a host of other expensive programming is free right now, giving us hours of viewing and listening pleasure without paying a dime.
13. Curbside everything. We sat in traffic, please don’t make us get out of the car to pick something up.
14. Virtual kids’ birthday parties. We hope these also continue to happen online so we don’t have to go.
15. Fine-dining available for delivery and takeout. Sometimes all we want is a nice, expensive steak but we don’t really feel like putting pants on to go out and get it, ya know? This new normal lets us have it all—the fancy dinner and the PJ lifestyle.
16. Certain public places being accessible only to residents. Sorry, tourists. :)
17. A life without zippers and buttons. We don’t need spandex all the time but please let us have our T-shirts and pull-up pants a little longer. Down with zippers!
18. Rollerblading over the age of 13. It’s suddenly become socially acceptable for grown-ups to rollerblade—and fall—in neighborhoods outside of South Beach.
19. Giving a damn about self-care. We don’t mean our hair and nails, which are totally wrecked right now, but our sanity. Go on taking your midday breaks, go out for walks and make time for whatever makes you feel good.
20. Nights in with the family. Now that we dusted off our old board games, let’s all continue to use them, and not just when the next hurricane knocks out our power.
21. Kids fending for themselves. Children in lockdown are making their own lunches, doing their own appointments and generally freeing up parents while learning responsibility.
22. Face masks. Bear with us here: a face mask helps when you’ve run out of the house and forgotten to brush your teeth or didn’t bother with makeup and need something to cover the giant zit on your chin. We’re not saying it should be mandatory but the option would be nice.
23. Not having to go anywhere when we don’t want to. Saying “it’s too crowded” makes us thoughtful instead of a loser.
24. Theater 24/7. While we miss the Arsht, the Broward Center and the host of other local cultural institutions, it’s nice to watch Broadway performances and celebs singing Sondheim whenever we want.
25. Humanity. Let’s all continue to be kinder to one another, k?
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