Folks, it is raining in Miami. And we're not talking about a little shower or two. This is, like, some ark-building Old Testament weather.
And we're heading right into our second straight week of mostly soggy skies. Should we be surprised? Not really. It is, after all, the start of summer, and with that always comes pounding showers. But Miamians have this weird ability to forget seasons the second they end.
Every year around June, we all walk out of our houses one morning absolutely offended by the fact that it's hot outside, as if—up to this point—we have never seen our thermometers rise above 80. We look at puddles with abject horror and hide in closets when we hear thunder.
It's all a show, really. Deep down, we understand that summer has finally cornered us like a cat toying with sweaty little mice. But every Miamian follows a similar path to weather acceptance.
The classic first stage: denial.
THIS MIAMI RAIN NOT GONNA WIN THIS WEEKEND 😤
— SNAP: WHITEHEAD305 (@WHITEHEAD305) June 9, 2017
Some believe clouds can be pushed away by sheer force of will. They plan barbecues and leave their house without umbrellas—on purpose. But those people are quickly humbled by mother nature, and their positivity melts into the second stage: anger. And, boy, are Miamians good at that one.
If Miami was a girl I would whoop her ass right now for all this damn rain 🙄😒
— yours truly ❤ (@__ashes2beauty) June 9, 2017
Miami weather can't be trusted for shit, I swear. I'm fed up, I'm literally about to wear swim trunks and a rain coat. Fuck it
— ReggieMuliano 🕹 (@ShmackedScotty) June 9, 2017
so miami back on the rain bullshit? i had PLANS.
— bambi (@yellowxan) June 12, 2017
But even we can only keep that up for so long. Sure we spend some time shaking our first at the heavens, but as the hours since we last saw the sun grow and our Vitamin D levels sink to dangerously low levels, we start to unravel. Here comes depression.
I'm not one to complain about rain but I forgot what the Sun looks like. #Miami
— Raul Alfaro (@rja_360) June 9, 2017
I want to be excited about summer, but this Miami rain is dampening my joy #miamilove
— Nikisha Williams (@nikisha) June 12, 2017
After many ordered pizzas and marathon Netflix binges, our dark rabbit hole eventually leads us to the final stage, acceptance. After all, we have chosen to live in this strange and unpredictable climate. And the consequences are ours to bear.
I honestly don't know what Miami is going through but we're all gonna drown with this rain.
— LTENGHT (@iamLateNite) June 9, 2017
And—because this is Florida, after all—some of us just skip the stages altogether and get downright weird.
Are you going to rain or be sunny, Miami? Cause you can't be both like my Ex, two faced.
— Byron De Paz (@BonBonGangsta) June 9, 2017
#animallover tries to protect his #emu from #miami #rain. But aren't they basically walking snorkels? @MiamiHerald https://t.co/QMAPD0w6QF
— adriana oliva (@theAOinsight) June 9, 2017
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