Every day in Miami has the potential to be a struggle. You can wake up to a thousand mosquito bites because your roommate left the window open. You walk out the door only to find that your car has been towed because your residential sticker was covered by a flier advertising some South Beach party that promises to be "the year's sexyest [sic] and most Xclusive [sic] party ever!!"
And then, to top it all off, your favorite cafe has been leveled by an elderly driver who could have sworn he was pressing the brake.
It can be a hard life in the tropics. But, as the saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And that's especially true in Miami—a city that is always inventing new and creative ways to put you in a hospital (and give you perspective).
1. Your next door neighbor’s rooster is actually an amazing alarm clock. Good luck hitting snooze without getting scratched to shit, bro!
2. You had a six-month head start on the rest of the country in having “Despacito” stuck in your head. And now you probably know the lyrics better than Justin Bieber.
3. Your daily interactions with Spanish speakers are more effective than all those years of Spanish class. You got an F in intermediate Spanish but you’re acing sandwich ordering 101, mi amigo!
4. Our lack of good sports teams leads to some super cheap tickets. Seriously, if you look underneath your seat right now there are eight Marlins tickets.
5. Traffic has allowed you to ingest an alarming amount of podcasts. Ira Glass understands you better than your own mother.
6. No matter how hot summer gets, you can always do a Google image search for “blizzard” and feel thankful. We'd rather sweat all day than lose a toe to frostbite.
7. Cafecito has put your caffeine tolerance through the roof and now no drink is too strong.
Oh, you call this coffee, Starbucks? Cute.
8. You get to enjoy a sunrise at least once a week because your friends can’t seem to leave the house before 5am. Space’s terrace has a permanent spot reserved for you.
9. The lack of reasonable parking in this city has forced you to become an absolute parallel parking ninja. You can literally park in a closet if push comes to shove.
10. All of these South American greetings have forced you to get over your personal space issues. Hugs, cheek kisses—farewell intimacy issues!
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