Miamians consider themselves amateur meteorologists because they know how devastating a hurricane can be. Instead of panicking the moment they receive a warning or when a storm intensifies, they lament canceled social plans, reschedule Tinder dates and plan hurricane parties with their friends. While Dorian makes its way through the Caribbean, Miamians are, at once, coming to grips with the possibility of experiencing yet another hurricane and dismissing the threat of a storm. But what happens when the risk is imminent? They prep, Miami-style.
1. You doubt your local meteorologist and start asking friends where they think the hurricane is headed. “Bro, it’s shifting. It's not even going to hit us."
2. You accept that the possibility of a hurricane is real. It’s also all over your Facebook feed.
3. You’re annoyed. The hurricane is ruining your plans for this weekend. WTF?
4. You begin to freak the hell out. Does my building have a generator? How will I watch Netflix? Do I have friends with hurricane-proof windows who will take me in?
5. You start to worry about your immediate, distant or someone else’s family in Cuba, regardless of the hurricane’s actual trajectory. “Ay, esos pobre Cubanos!”
6. It’s time to shop. You and your friends or SO divide and conquer, hitting the grocery store and liquor store simultaneously.
7. You hope that work is canceled and make a guest list of people you’re inviting to your hurricane party. It’s going to be EPIC.
8. You bring bikes, cinder blocks, plants, barbecues and anything else that's outside and could potentially fly away into your living room. Your house now looks like a storage facility. Time to rethink that hurricane party?
9. You reminisce. “Remember Hurricane Andrew? My parents didn’t have power for a month!” or “Where were you for Hurricane Wilma? I had to shower outside!”
10. You realize shit might get real and devise an exit plan.
11. Time to get the fuck out! There’s no way you’re spending the next two weeks without power. Hasta luego, Miami!
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