Australia 108 Melbourne
Photograph: Denise Jans on Unsplash
Photograph: Denise Jans on Unsplash

33 things that Melburnians would never say

We'd bet all our avocados that you'll never, ever hear Melburnians utter these phrases

Written by: Saffron Swire
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Melbourne is a city full of surprises, but while we've become used to the unexpected, there are a few things you'll never catch Melburnians saying. We've rounded up 33 phrases below, and after having a scroll, check out our guide to the things that make you a true Melburnian

  1. "I just felt like dressing in the colours of the rainbow today." 
  2. "Oh, this old thing? I bought it at Chaddy." 
  3. "I just prefer drinking closer to the ground."
  4. "Sure, I'm happy to work a shift the morning after Meredith!"
  5. "Holy shit, it's Tony Armstrong! Do you think he'll get a selfie with me?" 
  6. "Are you kidding me? For $22 I could've made this Negroni at home!" 
  7. "I've saved up enough money for a home loan!" 
  8. "Don't stress, I'm sure we'll have no problem finding a table at the Queen Vic Night Market." 
  9. "I reckon we'll pass on the burrata, but thanks!"
  10. "Sorry, I don't drink skin-contact wine."
  11. "Those Extinction Rebellion people have a fair point, and I respect their right to protest."
  12. "I'm so sick of deli sandwiches."
  13. "Let's have a massive one in Travancore tonight."
  14. "I miss Stereosonic."
  15. "Mel-born."
  16. "I love that mullets are back in style."
  17. "I don't like to dress like everyone else, so I buy my clothes from Gorman." 
  18. "Look! Melbourne Skydeck!" 
  19. "Do you have anything with gluten?"
  20. "I'm so glad that the ugly old pub at the end of my street is turning into apartments." 
  21. "Who buys a house these days?"
  22. "I've got this revolutionary idea to open a burger joint on wheels! A truck that sells food, if you will!"
  23. "That guy at the footy eating a cheeseboard has made a poor life decision."
  24. "What? You never went on the Neighbours tour?"
  25. "Tell me more about your Instagram side hustle."
  26. "I prefer drum and bass to techno."
  27. "Your beautiful pan-flute tunes make my Bourke Street shopping experience so pleasant. Do you sell CDs?"
  28. "I guess I'm just lucky – my housemates and I have never had a single argument."
  29. "This might sound crazy, but have you ever thought that Melbourne is quite, y'know, liveable?
  30. "I'm really stressed out at the moment, so I reckon I'll head down to Melbourne Central to chill out."
  31. "Focaccia with whipped butter? Cocktails on tap? I've never seen something so revolutionary!"
  32. "I'll just wait and see if there are tickets to Fred again.. on the day."
  33. "I'm over greyhounds and greyhound-based events."

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