Eight secret spots to visit in Melbourne

In a city packed with secret bars, there's a special place in our hearts for Above Board. Hayden Lambert (ex-Bar Americano) rules the command centre at the heart of a tiny room, with only a handful of seats facing him as he dispenses drinks that put the art back into artisanal. The menu proudly declares that Lambert delivers cocktails and bad banter: something worth mentioning as he’s had years honing his daggy dad jokes, dry wit and old-man grump. This adds to your experience, rather than takes away, as the offering at Above Board is not just personalised, but personal. Sure, a chat with Lambert will help you determine if you’re after a classic or a signature cocktail, but you’re also getting a little bit of his life story with every drink.

Once you've visited here, check out more of Melbourne's hidden bars.  

Of course, you know about the Royal Botanic Gardens, but did you know one of Victoria's first public gardens was actually in Williamstown? A seaside gem, Williamstown Botanic Gardens is a lush green spot to read or hold a picnic. It was originally established by early colonies as a way of assessing how well plants would fare in the Australian climate. As a result, the garden's main features include a plethora of exotic plants, an Edwardian ornamental pond and a formal palm avenue. It's also a stone's throw away from Williamstown Beach if you need some sandy respite.

Here are some of our other favourite secret gardens in Melbourne.

There is no more colourful block in Melbourne than 'Little Lon', the former red-light district and slum between Exhibition and Spring, Little Lonsdale and La Trobe. It included Madame Brussels' famous brothels on Lonsdale Street, but the seedier houses of ill repute were down laneways, such as Casselden Place. The laneway was home to seven three-room brick cottages, with number 17 the last one standing – it also happens to be the only single-storey house remaining in the CBD, and definitely has a storied history. It was a seedy brothel, a sly grog establishment and the site of numerous police complaints. Now it's boutique gin distillery Little Lon and a blink-and-you'll-miss-it tasting bar, which can hold maybe 12 people, and only if they're very good friends. 

Need a different kind of fire water? Check out this (admittedly not very secret) whisky distillery.

Descending the tight spiral staircase of Spring Street Grocer's basement cheese haven is like sinking into a pit of wet socks – but don't let that detract you. It's an Art Deco wonderland of white and emerald tiles where you can eat lactose-laden lunches and do workshops. Behind a set of glass doors, you’ll find cheesemongers serving up tastes of truffled brie and tending tractor tyre-sized wheels of Comté. We can’t go past European gems like the soft vacherin that comes in a pot ready to be baked into a molten dip, or a tangy wedge of Bruny Island C2, Australia’s only raw milk cheese.

Here are some other places where you can enjoy cheese (with a side of wine).

Given that the Stables is located in the Meat Market complex, itself a bit of a hidden performance gem in Melbourne’s north, it’s surprising that so few of Melbourne’s savviest arts lovers know about it. It’s effortlessly cool, with concrete floors and high ceilings. It’s wonderfully flexible, embraced as an art gallery and performance venue. It’s also bloody hard to find, and therefore has Melbourne written all over it. It’s been a space for hire for the last couple of years, notably for the Other Art Fair, and has hosted visual arts exhibitions like Stephen Baker’s Moonshine. It’s a secret weapon for an arts complex that already has an arsenal of them.

Here are six of our favourite hidden art spaces around Melbourne. 

The scenic Fitzroy Gardens are certainly no secret, located just behind State Parliament and smack-bang in the middle of Melbourne's busy cityscape. But not everyone knows about all of the park's secret spaces, like the model Tudor Village created by London pensioner Edgar Wilson. This miniature village is a replica of a typical Kentish village built during England's Tudor period and was unveiled in 1948. But our favourite secret in Fitzroy Gardens is the Conservatory, a small greenhouse at the bottom of the hill. The air is always warm, moist and heady with the scent of intensely perfumed tropical flowers. Classical music is piped in, and it mingled with the gentle tinkle of the fountain inside for the ultimate in inner-city relaxation. 

Check out some more of Melbourne's secret gardens in the meantime.

The dish is Yao's ramen. If you’ve ever met someone who says they love ramen, Yao Wong of the Elysian could probably top them. Despite being a coeliac (yes, sometimes he cheats), he’s managed to develop a bowl of ramen named after him, which can only be ordered directly from the chef. The noodles have a harder texture than usual, after being air-dried for 24 hours for the perfect texture, and come in a thick, 48-hour tonkotsu broth that you can request to be spicy or not spicy, topped with teriyaki chicken. Slurp it up, prepare for the food coma and tell them Yao sent you.

Here are our other favourite off-menu items (and yes, you have to know to ask).

The State Library of Victoria is a cultural landmark that houses books, podcast facilities and an enviable audiovisual collection as well as several exhibitions and galleries with a lot of history. It also has a secret suite of magical paraphernalia, which is about the most Hogwarts thing we can think of. It’s called the William Alma Magic Collection, and it contains approximately 2,000 books, 60 magazines, 1,500 photographs, 300 posters and 400 files about all things magic. If you fancy yourself a bit of a witch or wizard, you can request to view items from the collection – we assume all requests will be delivered by Floo Network straight to your tower.

Find out about the truth behind Melbourne's most famous urban legends.