This is a place for carnivores. Perhaps slightly gluttonous, hedonistic carnivores. The all-you-can-eat menu ($58 on weekends and around public holidays, a quite reasonable $47 Monday-Friday) comprises 12 different kinds of meat, served from huge skewers at your table. There are three different cuts of beef, three different kinds of pork – including a piquant and very moreish chorizo – three cuts of chicken, two cuts of lamb and a ham-and-pineapple skewer that lets you indulge your love for Hawaiian pizza. Sides are chips, rice, beans and sweet little banana fritters. There is also a buffet in the middle of the room so you can help yourself to salads, pasta and rice dishes.
The carbs are a trap – as is the garlic bread on your table, as delicious as it is – to get you to fill up on starch when you really need all your stomach room for protein. The vinegary slaw is a winner, though, and it will help you cut through all that fat and muscle. Our favourite is the rump cap, still perfectly pink in the middle and edged with fat that melts in your mouth. The lamb, nicely spiced and fork-tender, was another winner. Chewy chicken hearts might not be for everyone, but there’s plenty to go around in every category.
Need time to digest? There’s a lamp on your table, and you can switch it from green light (bring me all the meat, now, please and thank you) to red (just give me a minute, will ya?). This is a brilliant concept we hope to soon see at yum cha. Grilled pineapple, coated in cinnamon and piping hot, is also served tableside from skewers. It’s all you need for dessert, sweet and tangy, and the acids in the pineapple will aid digestion, and you’re going to need all the help you can get.