While most lovers will be spending their moolah on flowers, teddy bears and exxy restaurant bills this Valentine's Day, some may choose to gift their partner this straight-to-the-point 'Break-up Box' instead. Ouch. We'd hate to be on the receiving end of that cruel surprise. But hey – at least, it's honest!
The cheeky folks behind Aussie gin distillery Never Never Co are relaunching the heartbreaker pressie after a surprising amount of sales during Cupid's season in 2023.
“Last year's Break-up Box was so successful we’ve brought it back in a brand new way,” confirms Never Never co-founder and brand director Sean Baxter. “And this year, you get to have gin as well as break up with your partner.”
So how does it work? You order the Never Never Break-up Box and you get a full bottle of the distillery's highly awarded Triple Juniper Gin, gin magnets and a Martini recipe sent to your address. What does your partner get? An empty bottle of the same gin sent to their address, along with a personal message revealing that they're... well, officially dumped. Think lovely little notes like: "This bottle is full of all the oxygen you keep stealing" and the somewhat more direct, "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, you".
Baxter takes a hilariously less gentle approach, of course. “Imagine their initial joy at receiving the gift box, expecting a delicious bottle of Never Never Gin, only for that joy to soon dissipate after receiving a bottle of air and a cheeky send-off,” he says. “You get gin, they get an important and valuable reminder not to be an asshole, really everybody wins.”
As a bonus, the gin you recieve is a pretty dang premium one. Never Never's Triple Juniper Gin won World's Best London Dry at the World Gin Awards in London recently, and makes the perfect base for a celebratory cocktail to toast your newfound freedom after booting that sucky relationship out of your life.
“Triple Juniper Gin makes exceptional Gin and Tonics and world-class Martinis due to our focus on quality and consistency, which also incidentally describes your new sex life after you finally break up with that libido-lowerer,” remarks Baxter.
For our dear readers in committed relationships, we hope you've been good to your significant other this year or you might be one of the unlucky ones to receive this not-so-romantic Valentine's Day gift. With any luck, you've still got a couple of days to get in your lover's good books.
Buy the limited-edition Never Never Breakup Box at the website for $79, with deliveries commencing from February 1 nationwide. Be gentle, we beg of you.