If discreet exclusivity is the name of the game at Saint Haven – a private wellness club best known for its jaw-dropping waitlist (15,000 people!) and cutting-edge bio-hacking treatments – consider it mission accomplished. Upon arrival at South Yarra’s Capitol Grand building I struggle to find the entrance, randomly pushing at surfaces hoping one would magically turn out to be a door. Thankfully, a club member arrives and waves his hand over a statue of the ancient Greek god Hermes, thus revealing the portal to this famed sanctuary of health. This is some next-level, James Bond-style secrecy, indeed.
The South Yarra location is actually the second of Saint Haven’s Melbourne-based centres, with the first opening in Collingwood in 2023. They are the brainchild of wellness and property entrepreneur Tim Gurner, whose aim is to create a “unique” space where like-minded people can come to socialise, connect, work and gain access to a comprehensive suite of anti-ageing, recovery and health therapies.
Stepping into the space feels like you’re entering a transcendent world – one of focus, clarity and vitality. Created by Simon Brugaletta, Gurner Group’s head of interior design, it’s beautifully illuminated with curved accents, luxe marble finishes, soft curtains and a truly gorgeous teardrop chandelier. Think part bougie mansion in Toorak, part Nine Perfect Strangers-style health retreat.
Some of the most eye-boggling facilities include an entire bathhouse complete with a floor-to-ceiling tiled Hammam steam room, two cold plunge pools and a candlelit sunken lounge; a soundproof meditation room; yoga and pilates studio; and an enclosed arena for group performance training (with chic custom monogrammed equipment, of course). But my absolute favourite feature is the ‘fountain of youth’ – a reverse osmosis filtered water fountain (yes, really). The water here is free of chemicals, heavy metals, chlorine and harmful bacteria. “Bottoms up,” I whisper to myself as I take a sip, half expecting a jolt of energy to zap through my body. (Spoiler alert: it doesn’t, but there’s no denying the water tastes fresh.)
I’m lucky enough to be experiencing a round of Hugo PEMF (pulsed electro-magnetic field) mat therapy, a non-invasive treatment that emits electro-magnetic pulses through your body, stimulating the cells and promoting natural healing. It also boosts energy, reduces stress and improves your mood. I opt for an anxiety relief setting (there’s a whole menu to choose from) and settle in. There’s really nothing to feel – that’s the whole point – but it’s relaxing nonetheless to lay ensconced in a fleecy blanket and be lulled into a doze by the moody pink-purple lighting.
The full gamut of treatments and equipment are truly futuristic: IV vitamin infusion therapy, infrared saunas, hyperbaric oxygen chambers, lymphatic drainage massage boots, full body red light therapy (one of these machines costs $250,000 alone). You can even book in for cryotherapy – aka exposing your body to extremely low temperatures in order to help with muscle pain and post-exercise recovery. Oh, and let’s not forget the practitioners and coaches offering consultations on things like nutrition, dermatology, naturopathy, physiotherapy, energy healing, breathwork, longevity and energy healing.
My next stop is at the ancient bathhouse – it’s intimate and almost feels subterranean, like a magical grotto in a fantasy novel. The water in the main thermal magnesium pool is heated to 38°C and it’s a delight to slip into – even more so when a warming turmeric elixir is delivered. While it’s tempting to soak my worries away, I spot a few people doing a cold plunge and feel inspired to follow suit. Cooled to six degrees, the icy water takes my breath away, and after approximately 24 seconds I’m scampering back to where I came from. While a cold plunge may have its benefits, today is not the day I discover them.
All this wellness is enough to make a gal hungry, so I make a beeline for the bar and restaurant (not before drying my hair with a fancy Dyson hairdryer though). It’s a buzzier atmosphere here – there are people wheelin’ and dealin’ over laptops and coffee, and friends meeting for a post-workout smoothie. Head chef Chad Lynch fills me in on the menu, which is centred around nourishing organic wholefoods (you won’t find any refined sugar or alcohol here) that encourage a balanced, holistic diet. While some of the ingredients sound genuinely made-up – hello, methylene blue – the omelette I end up ordering is delicious.
As you can imagine, this level of luxury doesn’t come cheap. Memberships at Saint Haven start at $179 per week, with four tiers available – the top one is said to be more than $1,000 per week. Plus, there’s the aforementioned waitlist you’ll likely find yourself on.
So, what’s the verdict? I definitely leave feeling refreshed and rejuvenated – and inspired to take better care of my physical and mental health. Had I drunk the Kool-Aid? Perhaps, and it’s important to mention that many of these reverse-ageing technologies and progressive wellness treatments are not a guaranteed ticket to optimal living. But for those who have the means to invest (heavily) in their health, Saint Haven is the way to go.
To find out more about Saint Haven (and join that epic waitlist!), head to the website.
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