How was Wobbies World ever a thing? When the Late Show (Mick Molloy, Santo Cilauro, Jane Kennedy, Judith Lucy et al) did a skit called Piss Weak World in the ’90s they were having a dig, and it hadn't even closed yet.
The name evokes nostalgia for those of us old enough to remember, but for younger peeps, Wobbies World was a theme park based in the very suburban Vermont South, opposite Denny’s (which is now defunct too – it was kinda like a Pizza Hut with pancakes and other breakfast foods). It was also tantalisingly close to where they film Neighbours. And it was shit. Unbelievably shit. Not lying – here's the official ad.
Wobbies World opened some time in the ’70s and pulled up stumps in 1999, after falling into a state of disrepair, which didn’t stop it charging $36 for family entry, plus extra for the “attractions”. It’s hard to figure out who the attractions were aimed at – the most notable thing about them was that they were slow moving.
Wobbies World shut without much fanfare, leaving a bunch of questions unanswered:
- how the fuck did it stay open so long;
- who approved an industrial bobcat as a ride;
- did anyone actually like the craptastic rides;
- why wasn't there an apostrophe in Wobbies World;
- did someone's dad make the rides;
- why do you get a cartoon of Tony Abbott in speedos on a wrecking ball when you type "Wobbies World" into Google images (page two); and
- who is that goddamn, creepy mannequin at the start of the clip?
There is a cop shop on the site now and you can bet it gets more action.
While you're taking a walk down memory lane, check out this ad for Bourke Street in the '80s.