We love Melbourne. We really do. It's a city of creatives, of big ideas, and of people ready to embrace all that is new, unusual and downright bizarre. Queueing on a Saturday morning to grab armfuls of delicious croissants? That's pretty Melbourne. Crowding around a Boombox in a Fitzroy laneway to listen to a Bon Iver album on cassette? That's really fucking Melbourne. Whatever your thoughts are on 2016 (we're pretty much ready to throw it in the bin), it was a year that saw Melbourne take itself to a whole new glorious (and ridiculous) level. And we were there every step of the way to cover it.
1. Kanye fans queued all night to be first into the Pablo pop-up shop
"We've been camping out since about 5pm yesterday night," one camper told us as he emerged victorious from the Kanye pop-up. These Yeezy disciples waited out all night in the middle of winter to grab some sweet $100 T-shirts bearing Kanye-isms like "Any rumor you ever heard about me is true and legendary".
2. No one was surprised that Melbourne was awarded the world's most liveable city... again.
Another year, another most liveable city award from the kind folk over at The Economist. The 2016 award marked the sixth consecutive year that Melbourne received the high honour, and while Melburnians were pleased that the ranking still stood, hardly anyone seemed surprised. Later in the year, the Time Out Global City Index revealed that Melbourne is the most inspiring city in the world to live – a stark contrast to those poor, locked-out Sydneysiders, who ranked their city as one of the world's least fun places to live.
3. Chefs went crazy for hybrid dishes
We had Pidapipó and DOC's sweet margherita pizza with fior di latte gelato (pictured), Lune Croissanterie's cruffins, a Golden Gaytime-inspired doughnut from Doughnut Time, and that insane hot chocolate cereal from Mork Chocolate Brew House. Creative genius, or madness? Let your tastebuds be the judge of that.
4. Matcha Mylkbar created a blue algae latte
Naturally, we had to try it. Our reactions ranged from "it's inoffensive" to "I would never spend eight dollars on this" to "I love it, I'm all over this shit". Now can we just go back to coffee please?
5. Bon Iver fans flocked around a cassette player in a laneway to listen to his new album
Melbourne went into a tizzy over a mysterious Instagram post from Bon Iver bearing the album art for his new record and an address in Fitzroy. People thought that Justin Vernon himself will be playing by some bins next to a Fitzroy cafe, but what they found was a bunch of Bon Iver fans squatting around a cassette playing the new album on a bloody Boombox on the day of the album's release. Cool story, Vernon.
6. Hundreds of books were set free on Melbourne's train network
Free books on trains! How cute! How quirky! Seriously though, we're all about this idea; it's a great way to get commuters reading again, and the founders of Books on the Rail have launched the Book Ninja Book Club, a book club that starts at the end of the Frankston Line.
7. The Astor hosted an awards ceremony for cat videos
Naturally, the cat video festival was dubbed The Dukes after Duke (pictured) the resident cat at the The Astor Theatre. Meow.
8. A #cleaneating food truck for dogs started doing the rounds
This ridiculous (yet delicious for dogs, we assume) food truck, called the Canine Wellness Kitchen, caters for the paleo pooch, serving bone broths, artisanal treats, and ready-made raw meals. Clearly Schmackos aren't good enough anymore.
9. Melbourne got a street named after Australia's favourite brekky spread
Cook Street in Port Melbourne, where Vegemite is made, was renamed Vegemite Way. Finally, we can forget about iSnack 2.0. Let's never bring that up again.
10. Cocktail fans went crazy for the Espresso Martini festival
Melbourne's unofficial cocktail got its own festival with the Mr Black Festival of the Espresso Martini. Tickets sold out so quickly that organisers added a second and third date to appease the caffeine- and alcohol-obsessed masses.
11. Chet Faker became the artist formerly known as Chet Faker
After making music as Chet Faker for five years, the Melbourne muso and walking beard endorsement announced his return back to his real name, Nick Murphy. He also announced that the change of moniker signalled an evolution of where his music is going (presumably somewhere more real?)
12. Dressed-up sausage dogs competed for glory at the Teckelrennen Annual Dachshund Race
Hands down, one of the best ever events in Melbourne. Hophaus Southgate's annual sausage dog race comes with a hilarious fancy dress competition, as proven by this Wonderdog, slayer of doggy treats and breaker of hearts.
13. Melbourne got a rooftop hotel made up of Airstream caravans
Notel is a collection of six luxury ‘70s Airstream caravans sitting on top of a three-level car park on Flinders Lane. Whoever said we’d reached peak Melbourne clearly did not anticipate this.
14. Mr Burger April Fooled us all with their fake burger joint in a tram
We got all excited about the potential Mr Burger Tram running along the number 8 tram line... until we realised that it was all a massive April Fool's joke involving some highly-skilled Photoshoppping.
15. Restaurants all over the city unleashed some crazy new creations
We had giant dumplings, black bun burgers, so many loaded doughnuts, cheese tarts from Hokkaido and chicken lollipops. Not so secretly though, we love the creative ways people are serving food and we can't wait to see what crazy food 2017 is going to throw at us.
16. Tons of people suggested that the new Mebourne Metro Tunnel station be named Trainy McTrainface
Public Transport Victoria announced that they would consider suggestions from the public when naming the five underground stations that will form part of the $10 billion Metro project. Naturally, people suggested Trainy McTrainface. Because of course they did.
Here's to 2017 being even more Melbourne. Things are looking promising so far: an IV hangover clinic is opening, a Stranger Things-themed diner will pop-up at a music festival and the redhead pride rally is returning.