Standing by a dusty road side, worn tea towel in hand, we wave off the golden people headed for fame and fortune at the Edinburgh Fringe. Or to lose whole load of cash and have a mental breakdown by September. Could go either way frankly. In the meantime the August comedy scene in this town rolls on, there's some fine stuff going on here in what is traditionally the quietest month of the year.
David Cross, Gorilla, Sat Aug 1, £16-£19
Group Therapy always has a great line up of carefully selected acts but this ones a bit of a coup - a performance from no holds barred American comedian Cross. Known to many for his part in 90s HBO sketch show 'Mr Show with Bob and David' alongside Bob 'Saul Goodman' Odenkirk and going on to play Tobias Funke in 'Arrested Development.' Of course first and foremost he's a fine, fine stand up.
Burlesque Feminista, Frog and Bucket, Sun Aug 2, £10 (Adv) and £15 VIP
An extra special Dulcet Sounds/Laughing Cows night at the Frog this month. Not comedy in its entirety but a night of some very witty Burlesque performers – the feline Cece Sinclair, drag king Rusty Von Chrome and the vintage stylings of Lorretta Von Dini plus a stand up set from kooky Austrian Alice Frick.
Didsbury Comedy Club, Didsbury Cricket Club, Sun Aug 2, £7
The Heatons Comedy Evening, The Heatons Sports Club, Sun Aug 2, £7.50
This time at the monthly double up between two of Rob Riley's fine gigs it's Justin Moorhouse getting the 42 bus between venues as he has one last showcase of his Edinburgh show before heading up the M6. In Heaton Moor he shares the bill with Tom Binns in both his DJ and psychic incarnations Ivan Brackenbury and Iain D Montfort whereas in Didsbury it's Jo Caulfield with her 'Awkward Conversations.'
The Worst Comedy Night In Salford, Kings Arms, Tue Aug 4 & 18, Free
No excuse this month for not popping in to this open mic night at the Kings. Often without a mic, acts shout from a corner to a room full of largely of other acts. But self deprecating name aside there are plenty of glimmers of great stuff here plus it's a fascinating insight into the process and some of the characters on the local scene. Brought to you by the man who created the 'Worst Comedy Night in Manchester,' now 'Comedy Balloon' (see below), Mr Dave Turquoise.
Limmy, The Comedy Store, Wed Aug 5, £15
A rare visit to Manchester for the Glaswegian comedian Limmy, AKA Brian Limond, as he promotes his new book 'Daft Wee Stories'. Probably best known south of the border for appearing on Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe, this fearless comedian is something of a comedic legend in his native Scotland. Dark, uncompromising and funny - one to catch while he's here.
Comedy Balloon, Ape and Apple, Every Wed, Free
In an earlier incarnation at the Briton's Protection this gig saw the first gig by Alan Carr. Whatever became of him? Manchester's longest running open mic night – like its 'Worst' equivalent in Salford it can be more like a study in anthropology than comedy with open mics playing to the rest of the bill but it also gives a platform for the newbies to get on board and the more established try out new stuff. Jason Cooke keeps it all together from the safety of the sound desk.
Chris Ramsey, Chorlton Irish Club, Thu Aug 6, £8
In place of this month's Laugh Local, the cheeky Geordie laddie and star of BBC's Hebburn warms up to his forthcoming Edinburgh dates and autumn tour with this date at Chorlton Irish Club. In 'All Growed Up' Ramsey considers getting older and whether it's about time he grew up.
NQuiz, The Frog and Bucket, Sun Aug 9, £1
The legendary comedy club has added another addition to its monthly line up with this new quiz night. A pro comic compère mucks about while also asking proper questions to an audience who can win, not just the prestige of being crowned winner, but also a £50 cash prize. Previous compères have included the award winning nutter Phil Ellis and this month it's Chester chap Danny McLoughlin.
Benny Boot at Trapdoor Comedy, Mon Aug 10, The Railway Didsbury, £5; Tue Aug 11, Spinning Top Stockport, £5; Wed Aug 12, The Old Monkey, £3
Benny Boot takes the headline spot at Trapdoor's gigs this month. The idiosyncratic Aussie is a brilliantly quirky performer – making even the most usual of comedic topics somewhat other worldly. In support are the musical Ruth E Cockburn (Railway), Moss Side's Danny Sutcliffe (Spinning Top) and the bombastic Chris Brooker (Old Monkey) while Trapdoor's own Tony Basnett comperes.
Diane Morgan at XSMalarkey, Pub/Zoo, Tue Aug 11, £3 members, £5 non-members
From just up t'road in Bolton, Diane Morgan has been making something of a name for herself in the just over a decade she's been performing stand up. You may know her from the 'Two Episodes of Mash' shows with bearded one Joe Wilkinson or perhaps as the philosopher for the people Philomena Cunk on 'Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe'.
Manford's Comedy Club, Didsbury Grosvenor Casino, Sun Aug 16, £12.50
The glittering vision in sequins that is Jonathan Mayor introduces sets from chatty Canadian Allyson June Smith – who divulges a little too much to hilarious effect and local boy Vince Atta with tales of growing up in Moss Side when it was just a bit rough.
Lip Syncing Battle, The Comedy Store, Mon Aug 17
Hosted by Trevor Dwyer Lynch (as seen for a while on Corrie) this new monthly night at the Store is inspired by the a section from The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon where guests lip synch to the death. Comedians, guest celebs and audience members compete with the addition of props, costumes and backing 'singers'.
The Frog and Bucket, Thu 20 – Sat 22 Aug, £10 - £20
The Frog eases itself into the weekend shows with the more sedate Thursday night affair where Barry Dodds introduces Stockport's own Steve Shanyaski and the musical deadpan of Andy Askins plus middle spots from Danny Breakey and Chris McGlade. At the more lively weekend gigs the middle spot is occupied by Adam Staunton.
Sidekick Comedy, Via, Mon Aug 24, £2 Free for students
The bargain priced comedy night in the gay village hosted by Kate McCabe. With a head line set from the as dark and deliciously twisted as she looks harmless Rachel Fairburn and support from Bilal Zafar, Beckie Fox and Callum Morris-Glue.
Laughing Cows, Frog and Bucket, Sun Aug 30, £7 adv, £10 on the door
The Cows' second outing at the Frog this month. The regular monthly all women comedy night this time with musical comedy from Ruth E Cockburn, the sharp Ellen Tomlinson, the affable Kate McCabe and support from Jo Smiles. Kerry Leigh comperes.
Off The Rails, The Royal George, Sun Aug 30, £8
It's the summer, why not treat yourself to a trip on the train into the countryside and up to Rob Riley's long running gig in Saddleworth. This month with an Aussie who's played all over the world - Wayne Deakin, Roy's son Phil Walker and – returning to stand up - Ed de Cantor.