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[title]The Los Angeles Dodgers are about to take on the Boston Red Sox in the World Series, and that means it’s time for some salty cross-city smack talk. Angelenos are pretty confident in their standing as residents of the greatest city in the known universe, so we rarely feel the San Franciscan need to call out other cities (except New York, because why not). But we’re temporarily taking the gloves off to share some unkind words about boring-old Boston. No matter the outcome of the World Series, we stand by these five hostile put-downs constructive criticisms.
1. The weather in Boston is brutal.
Here’s a winter day in L.A. after a fresh snowfall:
Photograph: Michael Juliano
And here’s Boston:
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/jaime_okeefe
2. Beer. It’s just better here.
L.A.’s craft beer scene is burgeoning, with flight-worthy breweries in Downtown L.A., the Valley and the South Bay. It would be impossible to sum up L.A.’s diversity of beer in a single image, from Craftsman’s humble Pasadena microbrewery to Golden Road’s massive riverfront complex. But we can pretty easily sum up beer in Boston in one image:
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/Mike Mozart
3. We don’t feel the need to put our city name before every redeemable dish.
Boston cream? Boston baked beans? New England clam chowder? You don’t hear us talking about Los Angeles doughnuts or Southern California soup.
4. Our city maps actually make sense.
Say what you will about L.A.’s sprawling layout, but our stitched-together city grids actually make some sort of logical sense. And if you’ve ever lost your sense of direction? Just look to visible landmarks like the mountains or ocean to get your bearings.
Boston, on the other hand, looks like this:
Photograph: Courtesy Samuel Zeller
Whoops, apologies, that’s a close-up of a leaf. But you can understand our confusion when Boston’s swirly, irregular streets are organized like this:
5. We don’t sound like the Wahlbergs.
Sure, Valspeak and the OC surfer drawl get their fair share of flack, but boy are we wicked glad we don’t have to try to bang a uey with a bunch of townies.
6. Sorry, Fenway Park: Dodger Stadium is the definitive place to watch baseball.
We’ll get Boston’s one advantage out of the way: You can take the T to and from the park, and we’re pretty jealous about that public transit perk. But give it a little time: Our Metro buses may not stack up right now, but give it a few years and we’ll be zipping over to Chavez Ravine in a tunnel or on a gondola.
In all other ways, though, Dodger Stadium has the advantage. From the food (where else can you watch a ball game with a poke bowl and elote covered in Flamin’ Hot Cheetos?) to the sightlines and the architecture (midcentury all the way), Dodger Stadium is a perfectly pleasant place to watch a game no matter the time of year, with rain rarely a worry and certainly never snow. And then there’s the incredible view toward the outfield of hillsides, palm trees and mountains:
Photograph: Michael Juliano
Meanwhile in Boston:
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/Aidan Siegel