Jeffrey Lynn Goldblum, you are such a fox. On this day, we celebrate your birth and give thanks to the Universe for gracing us with your unique and perfect presence for 63 glorious years.
There's just no one like you. You first caught our attention in The Big Chill, and then somehow made us fall deeply in love with you while simultaneously disintegrating into a fly. You played an alien in Earth Girls Are Easy, which almost seemed too easy for you... but that's why we love you. You're fucking weird, and it works. Basically all of our dreams came true when you turned on the Dr. Ian Malcolm charm in Jurassic Park—please tell us about chaos theory again?
And your talents don't stop there: We've been treated to your smooth jazz riffs on a regular basis at the Rockwell, breathing the same air as you and waiting for a wink and a smile between songs that are actually pretty damn good. We're not sure which jazz uniform we prefer: jeans, t-shirt, jaunty hat and patterned socks or impeccably-tailored suit, skinny tie and patterned socks—luckily, we don't have to choose. You always keep it fresh.
We pretty much only watch Law & Order and Portlandia for you, Jeff, and thank our lucky stars that on the latter, you've found a place where you can be your eccentric, awe-inspiring self. Happy birthday, Jeff Goldblum. Never change.
