There are two types of people in the world: those who watch The Bachelor and those who hate-watch The Bachelor, but we're all watching, right?
In the show's current season (it's 20th, not counting 11 seasons of The Bachelorette, two glorious seasons of Bachelor in Paradise and three seasons of the now defunct, sorely missed Bachelor Pad), contestants will spend the first few weeks in LA. This year's suitor is Ben Higgins from Indiana, and he has a whole harem of nuts to choose from. Although the show is a real romp to watch no matter where you live, it's extra special to see what tricks the producers have up their maniacal sleeves when you know where they are filming.
Never forget the tractor race through DTLA!
That's it. The next lucky lady I date will have to win a tractor race in the middle of a busy city. #Bachelor pic.twitter.com/NMiiNXzTA7
— Sean Macari (@SeanMacari) January 13, 2015
So to help you on your own romantic journey, we are going to break down the LA dates and how you can recreate them, or show whoever will listen just how fake it all really is.
1. Back to school
Summary: On the first group date, the girls did a somewhat elaborate competition at some random high school for the chance to be Ben's homecoming queen. We won't get into the logistics of why this makes absolutely no sense, but spoiler: the girl who won got kicked off. Bye, queen! Ben takes a girl named Jojo to a rooftop in Downtown LA to end the date.
"I've never been this high in my entire life!!" -Jojo, on a rooftop. Have you ever been on a plane? These girls though. #latebachelortweets
— esb (@B20e) January 13, 2016
Where to go: Your local high school. Just try not to look suspicious. If we had to guess, it looked like they may have been driving up the PCH toward Malibu. Then, onward to your favorite DTLA rooftop.
What you need: A volcano eruption kit, apples, a map, a basketball, hurdles, a giant sheet of paper.
Courtesy: ABC
2. One-on-one
Summary: Kevin Hart and Ice Cube joined Ben and Caila on a (get ready for lots of air quotes) "one-on-one" date. They try to keep the date "cheap" by buying flowers from a man on the street and "crashing" a "hot tub store." Then they go on a "romantic" walk through Downtown LA to a private concert at the Regent.
Where to go: The nearest hot tub store, The Regent Theater.
What you need: flowers, condoms, liquor, hot tub, private concert... Ice Cube and Kevin Hart—good luck.
Courtesy: ABC
3. The Love Lab
Summary: Ben and a group of girls go to a place called Love Lab Technologies, where "science" determines compatibility. A man who calls himself Dr. Love ran a series of tests that included eye sensors, smell tests and infrared cameras. For more details, gotta hand it over to this report from Mic, investigating the hell out of this place's validity (which is turns out is only sort of valid).
Where to go: The date was filmed on a set at the American Cement Building Lofts. But you can also reach out to Dr. Love himself if you're interested in taking part in his "research." His real name is Paul J. Zak and has ties to Claremont Graduate University and Loma Linda University Medical Center.
What you need: Science!
Thanks to @BachelorABC for having me on last night. Fun running experiments on Ben & women pic.twitter.com/I3vUGZiZFb
— Paul J. Zak (@pauljzak) January 12, 2016
Courtesy: ABC
For more dating help, check out our best singles bars, I Have This Friend dating service and this list of reasons why dating in LA isn't actually that bad.