March Madness is upon us, and with it comes millions of brackets being filled out...only to be crushed after the first weekend. To offer a little support, here are three recommendations on how to fill out your bracket—especially if you haven't watched a college game since you were in school.
1. Coolest Mascot Method. Let’s face it...no matter how good a team is, these are intense one-game playoffs. If one player gets hot and one team gets nervous, a huge upset could occur. With such a crap shoot, sometimes it’s best to look at the fiercest, coolest or strangest mascot and go for it.
Teams to pick based on this theory:
1. Purdue Boilermakers. Naming your mascot after an alcoholic drink? We salute your gumption, Purdue.
2. Wichita State Shockers. That mascot may look ridiculous (see above image), but at least it’s unique!
3. Albany Great Danes. Who doesn’t love an adorable Great Dane?
4. Coastal Carolina Chanticleers. By the time you figure out what chanticleer is, they’ll have already lost to Wisconsin.
5. UAB Blazers. Blazers somewhat disguises the fact that their mascot is a dragon. Put a dragon up against any of these mascots, and our money is on the dragon.
Teams to avoid based on this theory:
1-3. Kentucky, Villanova, Arizona. Wildcats might make sense in Arizona, but I can’t remember the last time I ran into a jungle cat in Philadelphia.
4. Kansas Jayhawks. Their mascot is a small, harmless bird that looks like a kindergartener’s cartoon drawing.
5. Maryland Terrapins. A turtle? For your competitive sports teams, really? A turtle?
2. Root For The Little Guy Method. We all love rooting for the little guy—so why not make every pick based on which school is smaller?
Teams to pick based on this theory:
1. Wofford
2. Davidson
3. Lafayette
4. Valparaiso
5. Manhattan
Teams to avoid based on this theory:
1. Ohio State
2. Texas
3. Michigan State
4. Indiana
5. UCLA
3. Most Desirable Vacation Destination. Northern Iowa vs. Wyoming…can both teams lose? Just kidding. But seriously, why not root for the school you’d most like to visit?
Teams to pick based on this theory:
1. UCLA
2. San Diego State
3. Texas
4. Utah
5. Wisconsin
Teams to avoid based on this theory:
1. Kentucky
2. Kansas
3. Iowa State
4. Cincinnati
5. Georgia State
There you have it. You are now equipped to fill out your bracket—no matter your level of knowledge of college basketball. We won't guarantee you will win your pool, but at least you'll have a good explanation for why you didn't.