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Bad Appetite is here to tell you exactly how to eat a PB&J sandwich

Written by
Erin Kuschner
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Do you know how to eat a PB&J? No, like really eat it. Not eat it the way your mother taught you, because what do mothers know? Compared to professionally trained chefs who are making PB&Js, mothers are basically incompetent in the kitchen. This is a fact.

Bad Appetite Magazine would like to tell you exactly how to eat a PB&J. Some say this is in response to Bon Appetit's ill-advised instructional video featuring Philadelphia chef Tyler Akin demonstrating how to properly eat pho, but we think it's just a gentle reminder that not all childhood foods should be eaten like a savage. Nevermind that Akin, who is white and owns a Vietnamese restaurant, is telling people how to eat Vietnam's most well-known dish (lots of lime, and don't you dare taint it with hoisin or Sriracha sauce), and Bad Appetite's video features Sammy Chu showing us exactly how she makes PB&J at her fictional Chinatown restaurant, sandwich.

"My approach is get the whitest Wonderbread you can find," says Chu. "The whiter, the better." Ooh, the irony. It burns. 

Mayonaise is mixed with creamy peanut butter; a pinch of salt is sprinkled on each sandwich. And there are rules for eating it, too. 

"I eat as many bites of the dark, dirty crust before I go into the whitest territory of the sandwich," she explains. "I will save you, white bread, from the dark, dirty crust."

The video ends with the following pointed advice: Don't tell Asians how to eat their food. 

Oh, also: PB&J is the new grilled cheese. Tell all your friends.

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