Things you only know if you’re a West End pigeon

Christmas is the best time for people-watching

'Let’s get one thing straight first: I may be a pigeon, but there’s nothing uncouth about me. I’m fabulous! We pigeons who call Regent Street and St James’s home pride ourselves on our beautiful iridescent green and purple feathers, our keen eyesight and our peerless navigational skills. But at Christmastime, not even I can compare to the spectacle of the lights. The famous ‘Spirits of Christmas’ brighten up Regent Street and St James’s – and unlike you humans, I get to fly right up to these glittering angels and get a properly good view of the streets below. And let me tell you, some of you look very amusing indeed with your mouths agape, looking back up at the lights! My tip: admire the lights, but keep an eye on what’s in front of you.’ 

It pays to follow your beak

We pigeons have an excellent sense of smell. I can tell you that there’s nowhere better for olfactory delights than the Quadrant Arcade. If I’m careful, I can pop into the art deco arcade without being shooed away, and enjoy the scents of amazing candles by Earl of East and MALIN+GOETZ, and perfumes at Creed. Then it’s a short fly away to Bulbous behind St James’s Church, where the flowers are almost as pretty as my plumage. Of course there are also the delicious-smelling restaurants and cafés, which leads me to…’

It’s all about the food

I'm always pecking about for snacks – and I know just where to go for my favourites. Be careful not to drop your Danish pastry outside Ole & Steen on Haymarket Street, because I’m always waiting for my moment! From my observations, a Christmas shopping trip to Regent Street and St James’s is never complete without treating yourself to lunch or dinner. I can see why. For obvious reasons, The Nest in Treehouse is a favourite of mine. Join me on the terrace to share the skyline views. I envy the kids who are eating free at Heddon Street Kitchen (why does this deal apply to human children and not pigeons?) – and next on my list is Tendril, because like me, it’s mostly vegan. Sadly, I’ve never managed to get into indoor spaces like The Green Room speakeasy bar at Casa Do Frango, but a robin I know managed it, and sung its praises.’ 

Stay coo-l

Christmas seems like it can be a stressful time for you humans. But the most successful visitors to Regent Street and St James’s know when it’s time to chill out. Yes, you’re surrounded by swoon-worthy fashion from places like Hobbs, Bimba Y Lola, Liberty London, Mulberry, Uniqlo, & Other Stories and Arc’teryx – but save some time just to relax. I like adding to the beauty of the sculptures outside the Royal Academy of Arts by sitting on top of them (sorry, you’re not allowed). Or for a spot of nature, head to nearby St James’s Park, or St James’s Square. I might even be there to welcome you!’