The most satanic things we saw at the Satanic Flea Market

Flea markets are good and all, but what if instead of selling second hand clothes, old records and knick knacks, they flogged real human teeth, voodoo dolls and ‘demon spawn’?

If you think this sounds like the kind of place that could only exist in an episode of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’, you’d be wrong. London has its very own bewitched bazaar, offering all kinds of peculiar, demonic and occult objects. From clairvoyant tarot card readers, to a taxidermied puffer fish, as long as it’s related to black magic, almost anything goes at the Satanic Flea Market. If you’re looking to hex your ex, or simply get an insight into London’s occult scene, we’d recommend paying a visit to this uncanny fair that takes place four times a year at Electrowerkz, a three-floored cavernous venue in Angel. 

So in honour of spooky season, we popped down to London’s biggest monthly gathering of goths, ghouls and witches to see what it was all about. Ahead of Halloween, these are the freakiest things we saw at the Satanic Flea Market, curse free. 

A bag of human bones

Ever wondered where you could buy actual human bones?  We told you that at the Satanic Flea Market, anything is possible. For £75, you can purchase a mysterious little black bag of human cartillage, sort of like a skeletal lucky dip. Or if you're looking for a real bargain, human teeth were also on offer for £7.50. We don’t know who they belonged to or where they came from, but it’s probably better not to task. 

Seller: Curiosities From The 5th Corner

A taxidermy puffer fish

What’s round, spiky, dead and stuffed? A taxidermy puffer fish, obvs. This stunning, unique piece of homeware is enough to brighten up the most basic of beige living rooms: just imagine that face on your mantelpiece. It’s no surprise that this guy sold almost instantly. 

Seller: His Dark Things

Newts in glassware

Newts and witches go hand in hand like east Londoners and Torres crisps. And this amphibian preserved in a jar of water – or wet specimen, as its officially called – is enough to make Old Demdike herself jealous. 

Seller: Curiosities From The 5th Corner

Eerily accurate tarot readings 

There’s a whole room dedicated to tarot cards at the Satanic Flea Market. Unlike the rest of the fair, the readings are held in a hushed, cave-like area, where individual readers set up shop to prey on your past, present and future. Try the Fickle Finger of Fate for a taste of New Orleans Voodoo tarot: we can confirm the results will lurk in your dreams (and nightmares) for days to come. 

A demon spawn sculpture 

If you think this gorey specimen doused in slimy blood is revolting, that’s because it’s probably supposed to be. Presented on a sanitary towel, this ‘demon spawn’ is as horrifying as it is damn right disgusting. And it definitely isn’t the kind of newborn you’d hope to be greeted with. 

Seller: That’s Vile

A skull

Okay, okay: it’s made of chocolate. But it is also uncomfortably realistic. Those empty eyes, hollowed out nose, eerie-looking teeth… good enough to eat, right? This was some top tier chocolatier artistry, made of solid chocolate and available in milk, white, dark, and vegan. Yum (kind of). 

Seller: Seven Crows

Voodoo dolls

Did ‘The Wicker Man’ scare the bejesus out of you? Then look away now. These eerie little straw dolls could be something straight out of the folk horror flick. The creations might look like sweet decorations, but that doesn’t stop them from having a sinister aura. With their pagan roots, corn husk dolls are often conflated with witchcraft, occult magic and voodoo – we wouldn’t want to wake up to one of these next to our bed.   

Seller: Daddy Street Fox

The Satanic Flea Market’s Anti-Christmas Fayre takes place on December 10 at Electrowerkz.